


Grand Slam

by b_akakame



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Canon, Conspiracy Theories, Glitter & Rhinestones, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:56:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b_akakame/pseuds/b_akakame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin doesn’t expect to run into Kame a second time after leaving J&A. Everything that follows after that, he expects even less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grand Slam

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaminikaku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaminikaku/gifts).



> **Title:** Grand Slam  
>  **Pairing:** Akame  
>  **Rating:** NC-17  
>  **Word Count:** 22,589  
>  **Warnings:** none  
>  **Author's Notes:** Dear Kay, this story is for you. Sorry for the many Meisa appearances and mentions, but hopefully the way things turned out will make up for that. Or at least leave a satisfactory explanation without stepping on your toes. Hopefully you will like it.
> 
> Lots of thanks to I for being a great beta, your very helpful suggestions and spotting stupid mistakes, as well as logic errors. Can’t thank you enough!
> 
> This story contains an adequate amount of glitter and rhinestones according to J&A’s glitter and rhinestone quota.

### Summer

The door closed leaving the almost unbearable July heat behind him as he stripped off his shoes in the air-conditioned genkan. It’s never as cold in their apartment as it is in all the stores and offices since they both love the heat and dislike the cold. But on days like these, a little breeze in the apartment can work miracles. 

They’ve been to the beach the day before to relax after weeks of stress, preparation and work. It was also the perfect way to regain more energy for all the busy weeks that are still to come. But he’s looking forward to it all. The music, the challenges, the photo shoots, the fans. Weeks on the road in different hotels and different experiences every night. It hasn’t felt so real in a long time, hasn’t felt so refreshing and so exciting. It’s hard to wipe the grin off of his face these days. 

There’s a foreign smell coming from the kitchen along with the gentle humming of the electric fan they only like to have on while they’re cooking. It’s quiet and peaceful, the way it usually is when at least one of them has a lazy day. There’s only the sound of something simmering in the kitchen and the gentle laughing from the living room. He prefers that to hectic days with rescheduled appointments, wild running around and his princess’ pouting face. 

A grin spreads over his face when he hears her imitation of farm animals and he can’t wait to flop down next to her and hug her until she gets annoyed with him and sticks her tiny hands into his face to make him stop. The quiet days are definitely the best days. 

He has almost reached the living room when there’s a loud bang coming from the kitchen accompanied with a variety of very colorful curse words. 

“And they say I’m the irresponsible one…,” he says with a grin as he leans on the doorframe.

“Oh, shut up!” 

One of their ladles is on the floor, as well as something that looks liked thinly sliced carrots. They are also on the cupboard and Meisa’s right leg. She hisses, probably because they must be pretty hot, but with the weird grimace she makes, Jin knows it can’t be that bad. 

Meisa looks good when she cooks. Her hair is in a messy bun and she wears that t-shirt she always wears for cooking even though it’s at least 3 sizes too big. Jin finds it kind of gross with all the stains that won’t wash out anymore, but even though he bought her a very similar one, Meisa refuses to wear it. 

Jin strolls over and takes a damp cloth to wipe her leg and the cupboard before he picks the ladle up and puts it in the sink. “So, today we’re brave and try the carrots again?”

Meisa makes another grimace and pulls out a frying pan she puts on an empty cooking plate. 

“I heard about this new recipe and thought we could try that again. Wanna try some?” 

She takes one of the spoons she put on a small plate next to the pot with the carrots and hands it to Jin. It’s different from most of the things Jin has eaten before. The sweet and at the same time sour taste reminds him a bit of his favorite sort of pickles. He munches on the carrots some more and tries not to let Meisa’s impatient face affect him too much. Food is serious business.

“It’s great! Different, but it’s pretty awesome once you can appreciate the full taste,” is his final verdict and his face lights up as Meisa sighs in relieve. 

“Yeah, I found it weird at first when I heard about cooking carrots with vinegar and sugar, but I like it. You think the little one will too?” 

Jin takes another spoonful mulling over the question. 

“Mmh… maybe if you put some more sugar in it?” He’s glad that he jumped backwards just in time to avoid Meisa hitting him with a wet dishtowel. Then she gives him a lecture about that that would make no sense when they want their kid to have a healthy diet. She’s smiling though and that makes Jin wonder whether she knows about the contradiction. 

“You greeted her yet?” Meisa then says as she puts the carrots on the warming plate and gets out the frying pan for the sausages that are lying on the kitchen counter. When he shakes his head, she all but shoos him outside. 

He only feels underappreciated for the lack of interest in his very helpful dinner suggestions for a short time. As soon as he enters their living room, Theia beams at him abandoning her annoying farm animal imitating toy that Reio gave her last Christmas.

“Papa!” She giggles and stretches out her arms for Jin to pick her up from her giant playpen that is taking up half of the living room floor. 

Jin has been reluctant to buy it, because the last thing he has ever wanted was his baby girl to be sitting in what looks like a cage, never mind that it’s pink with white flowers and purple butterflies everywhere. But Meisa was right to insist on it, because it’s practical. And it’s reassuring to know that he won’t find their daughter buried under the TV or with a broken neck when they need to leave the room for a moment. Also Theia loves it and has – much to Jin’s regret – reached a phase where she likes to play with her heap of toys all alone.

Theia wraps her short arms around his neck like she always does and then pulls a face when she tries to grab strands of his hair only to find product smeared to her hands. The way she looks at her styling gel-covered hand makes Jin laugh and he presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. 

“Come on, sweetie. We have to wash your hands anyway, mum is ready with dinner soon…” 

That seems to make Theia happy and Jin has to smile because of how unaware she is of the fact that she will fall victim to another vegetable experiment soon.

*x*x*x*x*

Meisa is basically cheating when she is most victorious about Theia eating the carrots. Theia refused when there were only carrots on the spoon, but now that Meisa mixes them with the mashed potatoes and the sausages, Theia knows she has no chance but to obey. And she is probably pretty hungry when she doesn’t fight back too much. Jin sees that Theia pointedly avoids the carrots when she digs in with her own spoon, but doesn’t say anything about it.

“Oh, about tomorrow…,” Meisa says and laughs, probably at the way Jin cringes. “We had to push the starting time of tomorrow’s meeting back a bit, so I most likely won’t be home when you go. But I called your mother and she’ll come over to look after Theia until I’m back.” 

Jin sighs loudly mulling that over, before he makes a face and puts his fork down.

“I could ask Josh and Zen and we could go there later…,” he starts to which Meisa rolls her eyes and looks at him in that Jin-don’t-be-ridiculous way of hers.

“Look, it’s one hour tops. And I know, it’s cooler when things just fit and we don’t always have to ask people to help us out, but she’s your mother and she’s very happy to do this and there is nothing wrong with her wanting to look after her grandchild every once in a while. Also yes, that means I won’t have to stress too much if things take longer after all.”

Jin knows she has a point only he prefers it when they don’t have to ask others to help them out too much. He also knows that he’s just twice as careful about this ever since his former manager showed him all of the shitty articles about them not taking care of their baby and having fun instead. The few that are out there were painful enough for him to read, but the ones Johnny miraculously forbid the tabloids from publishing were worse and even though they are complete bullshit, the words are still ringing in his head every now and then. Meisa probably knows she doesn’t have to say more to that and that Jin won’t loudly acknowledge that she is very right. And practical. It’s probably good he married practical. 

“God, how difficult can it be to make a kid eat vegetables?” 

Theia has somehow managed to move almost all of the carrots to the very rim of her plate and obviously only enjoys the sausage and the potatoes.

“I think potatoes count as vegetables too,” Jin informs Meisa helpfully, only potatoes don’t seem to be approved as suitable vegetables and he can see that she is close to throwing Theia’s spoon with the pink glittery handle at him. 

*x*x*x*x*

The Hotel Nikko in Odaiba is as impressive from the inside as it seems from the outside. Even with all the hotel travelling and all the hotel parties Jin was invited to, he has actually never been inside, although some of his American friends recommended their restaurants to him. 

The bar they are led to by a hotel employee is not as tackey as Jin would have thought. The ceiling is high and the outer wall is covered in floor-to-ceiling-windows that allow a breath-taking view of Tokyo Bay and the Rainbow Bridge. It’s still early but Jin is already looking forward to enjoying the view when it’s dark and the bridge is illuminated. 

If usually there are tables and chairs in the bar, they were cleared away for the party to make room for a lot of bar tables covered in white table cloths and a counter along the windows. The only seating possibilities are the comfortable looking rattan furniture seats on the veranda and Jin is briefly tempted to find himself the best seat for enjoying the great view later. Only that would be bad form and he doesn’t even know how many guests are still to come. It’s supposed to be a private party, but experience taught him, that that doesn’t say anything about the number of guests. 

A group of women dressed in glittery cocktail dresses is giggling happily at the bar and flirting with the barkeeper who is doing fancy tricks while mixing their cocktails. It’s impressive to look at even though it’s something Jin has seen way too often in his life to find special. Josh has gone to get some champagne for them from one of the waiters who are entirely dressed in black.

“Let’s grab one of the tables, before they’re all taken,” Dom says next to him to which Jin nods and they make their way to a table close to the windows. 

Jin likes the atmosphere here. He was a bit skeptical when Josh and Zen told him about it. Parties in a luxury hotel that require dressing up in a suit usually are not Jin’s thing at all. But his friends said they knew what they were taking him to and the DJ hosting this party liked some extravagance. Also, Zen saw it as the perfect opportunity to bond with some people from the industry. 

The music in the background is quite good. It’s mostly dance tunes and one remix of something popular that Jin heard in Josh’s car the other day

More and more people are coming and Jin is glad that they were early enough to have their own table by the window. Every now and then waiters come by with trays full of nibbles. They are excellent and Jin takes a photo of the tiny little vegetable sandwich he sends to Meisa just to be annoying. _If you can make her eat that without cheating, I will forever be on cleaning duty._

Zen and Dom have wandered to the bar to get them fancy cocktails and Josh still hasn’t returned from the restrooms he disappeared to after bringing them their champagne. Jin enjoys being alone for a while, so he can look around properly. Despite the fancy interior of the bar and everyone dressed up in suits or cocktail dresses, it’s a laid back party. Also, someone has made sure to keep reporters and uninvited guests away from it. It makes Jin wonder whether they will even get to do some business talk, when everyone seems to be here just to enjoy it.

The dance tunes are interrupted by a short piano intro that quickly leads to more dance tunes and suddenly it feels like the world has stopped turning for a moment. All other sounds are suddenly muted when it’s only that voice reaching Jin’s ear. Its familiarity creeps under Jin’s skin, the words are sinking in to pull on his insides. The voice sounds different from the million times Jin has heard it before. Different from all the times it whispered in his ear or echoed through Tokyo Dome along with his. But it’s still familiar. In a sea of thousand voices, Jin would still recognize that one. It’s more mature, but it also sounds a lot sadder. 

“Yo, buddy! Who are you dreaming of?” Josh elbows him in the ribs and smiles at him. Jin wants to punch him in the face.

“Hey, are those all songs Daishi has produced? Or does he do remixes of other people’s songs, too?” Is what he says instead. 

Josh takes a sip his champagne and lifts an eyebrow. The puzzlement in Josh’s eyes relieves Jin, although he doesn’t quite know why. It’s not like his past is a big no-go between them, even though they don’t talk about it very often.

“He does remixes too, but from what I know he only plays stuff he’s written or produced at these events. But no clue, really.” 

Jin merely nods and takes a sip of his champagne. His stomach is doing a weird flip thing he can’t quite place. And he is totally not sure what to make of this information. It would be the second time in four months that they’ve met by accident after years of not even running into each other at the agency which is like the most bizarre thing ever. But Jin has to remind himself that it doesn’t have to mean anything. Has to tell himself that he shouldn’t stand here and stare at the door because he’s anticipating things that will never happen.

He jumps when someone is petting his shoulder and almost spills his drink which makes the others laugh. Zen and Dom are back with an old guy with thick grey hair and a dark brown suit. Jin apologizes properly before he finds himself engaged in a long chat about his single and the hardships of running your own label and agency. Jin has never seen the guy before. 

Apparently, he’s one of the higher ups from Universal Japan who likes to listen to himself talk. He’s nice even though he tells Jin so much of the obvious and acts like Jin hasn’t been in the business for 16 years already. But it’s good that all Jin has to do is nod his agreement every now and then and smile politely while the guy is talking to him about copy rights and the benefits and the curse of the internet. At least it gives Jin time to check the door between sips of champagne and one or two sentences just to contribute. Jin is not even sure what he expects and why he is so fidgety all of a sudden. He told himself _not_ to look.

Eventually Universal guy makes his excuses, but he looks pleased and wishes him all the best. It’s good to know that Jin hasn’t been as impolite as he thought he was. His glass is empty and he vaguely remembers Josh saying something about getting them a new round of booze. Dom and Zen are talking to someone else Jin doesn’t know, but the person cracks up as Dom is trying to explain what he means with his hands. He has this habit still even though his Japanese is quite good by now from what Jin can tell, because they usually only talk in English. 

Josh is at the bar talking to a tall blonde Jin has seen before but can’t put a name to. He briefly considers joining Dom and Zen, but he doesn’t want to interrupt and therefore dutifully designates himself table sitter for the evening. 

As he notices a bypassing waiter, Jin snatches a glass of coke from his tray. If he continues with the booze like this before they have actual food, he’s going to be wasted in no time. Also he’s very thirsty. But he regrets his actions the next moment after taking a huge gulp of what turns out to be 20% cola and 80% whiskey. Very strong whiskey. Jin’s eyes turn watery as he coughs and tries very hard not to splutter. That only makes everything worse. 

“Didn’t think it was the kind of party where people have problems to keep their liqueur in…,” comes a clearly amused comment from somewhere beside Jin. 

He has no clue who might have gotten there and when and right now he can’t even _see_ with the stupid tears in his eyes. A handkerchief appears in front of said stupid eyes as does the tiny hand with the short fingers and the perfectly manicured nails. 

“Thanks…,” Jin mumbles as he takes it to dry the tears coming from his eyes and the bits of the drink that still stick to his mouth. 

“I was just thirsty and thought it was plain coke…,” he manages then and tidily folds the handkerchief. 

“They usually don’t serve non-alcoholic drinks at the parties if you don’t ask for them.” 

Jin swallows as he hears the voice again, now that he’s not having a coughing fit anymore. Suddenly he feels shaky and he doesn’t know why it’s so unexpected when this is what he’s been waiting for the past hour. Even though he would never admit out loud that he had been waiting. 

Kame looks stunning. He trimmed the black hair again after the last time Jin saw him. It’s curly this time and disheveled, intended to look like he just got out of bed. It makes Jin wonder if Kame’s real bed hair still looks as awful as it did when it was longer. It’s probably still as soft though and Jin has to resist the urge to run his fingers through the dark locks to confirm that. The last time he did that was like ten years ago. 

Kame wears a black suit with a twirly pattern made of rhinestones down the whole lapel. The same pattern is on the collar of his crisp white shirt. The first two or three buttons are open and Jin can see the slightly tanned skin of Kame’s chest as well as a silver glittery necklace with an equally glittery skull pendant under the cloth. Jin wants to kick Kame for making him feel underdressed in a Versace suit from the most recent collection.

“I hadn’t expected to see you here.” 

Even though it’s a lie, because Jin had ended up staring stupidly at the door after that stupid song came on.

“Yeah… I came back from Sendai last night before I had to be at the live broadcast of Going. I did consider spending my first kind of free day for weeks at home, but…” Kame stops himself and bites his lip because that is surely not what Jin meant. 

“Daishi produced my solo song for our last album. We got along quite well, so he invited me here,” he explains instead, seemingly pleased when the slight confusion washes off Jin’s face. 

“It was on earlier actually. Surprised me a bit. It’s different. But it sounds really nice.” Now, Jin wants to kick himself for the weird babbling. 

Kame chuckles and steps closer to the table he casually leans against. They’re obviously having a conversation here and somehow that feels nice and not rushed. Different, when no one is watching them curiously and there won’t be reports on Twitter. 

“Yeah, I thought it might be nice to try something completely new… not always going for the same stuff…”

“Must’ve been very difficult to write a ballad in disguise this time…”, Jin giggles and Kame gives him a _look_ that makes Jin wonder whether Kame is about to throw him into the sea the next minute. 

“It’s not a ballad!”

“I bet you didn’t want to write a ballad, but then realized you did after all, so you asked some DJ buddy to turn it into a dance song to make up for your mistake. Hey, maybe you even invented a new genre… dance ballads.” 

Kame snorts and Jin has no clue what suddenly makes him tease Kame like that. It feels better than the babbling though. 

“Well… you should learn from me…,” Kame says and even though there’s a small smile tucking around his mouth, his eyes are sharp and distant. 

What was Jin even thinking, fooling around with Kame like he used to? Years ago. 

“So, how’s it going? I heard you kind of run your own company now?” 

It’s easier ground, that’s for sure. And Jin can see Kame relaxing even though the sharpness in his eyes doesn’t vanish. Always on alert. Jin briefly wonders how Kame knows. But he watches the news. He’s said that, last time. 

“Yeah…,” Jin says fidgeting with the glass in front of him. 

It’s easier when he has something to do with his hands. 

“Well, it’s not only me. It’s mine, but I have a great team. They’ve been really supportive and know what they’re doing, so that’s pretty good. There’s so much behind the scenes one has to think of, it’s kind of crazy.” 

But Jin is proud it worked out like that. And he doesn’t know why he hesitates to show that. When did every topic between them become a sensitive topic? 

“I bet it’s a lot of work. Good for you though.” 

Sometimes Kame’s politeness is driving Jin crazy. He wants to shake him and scream at him not to be so distant, but that would be ridiculous and weird. 

“It is. But it’s cool. It’s fun and I really like it.” 

There had to be benefits from leaving at least. 

“What about you? Work is… okay?” _How are you dealing without Koki?_ Is what he really wants to ask, only they are not there yet. And probably will never be again. 

“We’re touring at the moment. All is going well.” 

Kame presses his lips together gazing at nothing. He doesn’t look like in the middle of a tour. Kamenashi Kazuya in the middle of a tour is thin and worn out with dark rings under his eyes, but happy. Riding out the bliss and the adrenaline every second of the day whether he’s on stage or not. 

Kame has gained weight since Jin has last seen him. Not much, it’s not like Kame ever really gains weight. But his shoulders are broader, his face not so slim. He looks troubled though. Troubled and not as happy as he should look. Only the rings under the eyes are the same. 

“Sorry buddy, that blonde chick wouldn’t stop talking, but at least I got her num…” Josh stares at them wide-eyed, the huge grin instantly vanishing from his face. 

Jin remembers the first and the last time Josh and Kame met and the way Kame gets stiff and cold beside him tells him that he does too. And what the fuck is even wrong with them just talking? Jin will never get that, it seems. And it’s not like Josh even _knows_ Kame. 

Josh doesn’t say anything, just passes one glass of champagne over to Kame while he puts the other one in Jin’s hand. 

Kame just nods and looks at the glass almost suspiciously when Josh makes his excuses to get himself a glass of champagne after all. The distaste never leaves Kame’s face. Fucking great.

They sip their champagne in silence while Jin desperately tries to bring them back on solid footing. But he really doesn’t know what solid footing is for them anymore. And he doesn’t quite understand why Kame doesn’t just drink up and go to mingle with important producers or DJs or blonde chicks. 

But Kame seems to prefer awkward silences and that is a new one. Maybe he’s about to wait for Josh to come back, but Jin knows he won’t. Even Kame should know he won’t.

“If you want to go and talk to people, just go ahead, by the way. No need to be stuck here with me,” Jin lets him know because it seems appropriate. 

Kame used to feel strangely obligated in the weirdest moments. Now he just looks at him funny like he’s about to ask Jin if he’s kidding him and it really makes no sense. 

“I don’t know anyone here anyway and this is fun.” 

Okay, Kame is probably the one who’s kidding _him_.

“Because uncomfortably dancing around every topic that might possibly be awkward for one of us always used to be great fun, right.” 

Jin shakes his head and takes a large sip of his drink. He has briefly considered switching back to the whiskey and coke for that, but he should really know better. Also he’s not that desperate to have to get drunk to be able to be frank with Kame. Kame who is calm and collected and suddenly Jin feels ridiculously proud that he can still see through that. That he can see that Kame silently agrees with this, but neither would he admit that nor does he have a solution. Good thing Jin kind of has one. 

“Listen, we can either split up now and pretend the other one isn’t here and have fun or we have a decent talk about whatever we feel like talking like normal people who know each other for fucking 16 years, but haven’t seen each other for 4.” 

Kame’s brows furrow and fine lines appear on his forehead. The way he suddenly tenses again and purses his lips, Jin expects him to throw back a snarky comment and leave, but after taking a deep breath, Kame relaxes and manages to smile just a little bit. He suddenly seems lost in thoughts and Jin has no clue what the fuck is going on. But weird mood swings have always been Kame’s thing. 

“Okay, let’s do that. The talking, I mean,” Kame finally says and okay, Jin suggested, he’s okay with that, even though he has no clue what to say now and why does this have to be so fucking awkward? 

“That’s a nice suit.” Jin almost starts laughing hysterically. Trust Kame to talk about fashion. But okay, Jin can talk about fashion.

“Yeah, though I’m not quite bound to rhinestone-quotas anymore, so I didn’t go for fabulous this time.” 

Kame snorts at that and gives him a long look, before he takes the first sip from the champagne Josh brought. At least he doesn’t look at it as if it’s poison anymore. 

“ _Classy like none of these hoes_ is more your thing, right?” 

Kame’s pronunciation is so bad that Jin almost chokes on his champagne using Kame’s handkerchief to not to splutter his drink everywhere again. This better not become a habit for the night. Kame grins innocently and watches Jin in amusement. That bastard. 

“I liked the one you wore in your PV, too,” Kame adds nonchalantly as if it’s normal that he’s following his ex-band-member’s activities. Then again it was probably on the news as well. When did Kame start having the time for watching the news, anyway? 

“Thanks, I thought it was pretty cool too. Even with all the safety equipment that kind of ruined the look.” 

This one, Kame doesn’t seem to get, but okay. It’s not like that is the point here.

“I told you that suits really look good on you.” 

Yeah, years ago when Jin complained about the weird sparkly suit the costume staff wanted him to wear in a photoshoot. But hey, solid ground. Jin can try to talk about suits for a little longer. 

“Well, you have proven yourself the suit expert,” Jin adds helpfully hoping that Kame is still modeling… Aoki, Jin thinks. He saw an ad in a store some time ago before he decided that their slim line doesn’t look good on him at all. 

Kame just laughs a little and gets silent again and okay, what else can you say about suits? Jin could ask whether Kame’s suit is some special they now sell at Aoki, but it doesn’t look like it and okay, if Jin is honest with himself, suits are a boring topic to talk about. 

They stumble through another conversation about dogs which should be safer ground as well, but everything about Ran and Pin is full of mutual memories of the past, so even that gets difficult. And Jin thought leading the talk there might backfire because Ran was sick or dead. Which fortunately isn’t the case, but that doesn’t make it any better.

“I could do with some food,” Kame says suddenly as a bunch of waiters set the tables in the far corner of the room. 

Food sounds good to Jin, even though he has a brief moment of panic, because yes, they had food together in the past and maybe that’s a problem right now as well and this is really really ridiculous. Also Jin is quite hungry. So they join the queue and Jin starts to wonder where all the people suddenly came from. It didn’t seem too crowded just a minute ago.

“I thought they’d serve real food… but it seems like they only have another round of nibbles and finger food.” 

Jin makes a face and looks at Kame who seems pretty amused. But what is so amusing about nibbles? Or finger food.

“Isn’t there some code that says how much nibbles are acceptable to load on your plate at these kind of parties?” 

Okay, Kame looks even more amused and it would annoy Jin if that wasn’t the first time tonight he saw Kame… amused and not so fucking tense.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty complicated equation where you have to take into consideration how many people are at the party, divide that by your age, add the amount of people you talked to tonight and in the end that doesn’t matter anyway, because it depends on how much bling you wear on your suit to find out how many nibbles are socially acceptable.” 

Jin can feel his face fall as he stares at Kame. Long. Way too long.

“Too bad… no rhinestones, no nibbles,” Kame then adds with a straight face while shrugging. 

And that’s all it takes for Jin to break out in almost hysterical giggles all over again. Kame smirks at the sight and Jin can _see_ that he’s about to laugh too. But he holds himself back and Jin punches him before he dries the tears in the corner of his eyes. 

“Dumbass,” Jin mumbles and finally Kame giggles. 

“Don’t worry; I can let you eat some of mine.” 

He doesn’t fully manage the straight face this time which is weirdly comforting, but Jin punches him lightly anyway. 

Turns out it doesn’t matter how much he takes, because the others don’t seem to give a damn about that either. So Jin loads his plate with as much as possible. As does Kame which is new, but it’s probably the first thing Kame has eaten in a week. 

“Let’s go outside?” Jin suggests, because maybe the fresh air will clear his head a little and he could really do with a cigarette after the food. 

They do that. 

All of the seats are occupied, so they cross the small footpath between the veranda and the low railing. The whole area is protected from prying eyes on the beach by large trees. But Jin supposes that most people down there are only here to enjoy the view of the Rainbow Bridge anyway. 

It has gotten dark by now, even though it’s never really dark in Tokyo. There’s lots of colorfully illuminated Yakabune on the sea and the Rainbow Bridge in blues and greens and yellows and oranges bright against the night sky, outshining the skyscrapers in the background. The last time Jin enjoyed the sight felt like eons ago. 

They eat in silence, but it’s a comfortable one this time. Jin is so relieved he even ignores the tenseness in Kame’s shoulders and the constant alertness. It was worse before, so if that’s all the easing up he can get Kame to do, Jin is glad to just leave it like that. 

The wind is messing with Jin’s hair and he can feel Kame’s eyes on him as he puts the strands back behind his ears. Something about it makes him nervous and he’s glad he can busy his hands with the food again. His heart speeds up nevertheless and he starts to bite his lips when Kame’s eyes wouldn’t leave his face.

“It’s not quite like back then…,” Kame says eventually, eyes fixed back on the water.

And Jin doesn’t even have to ask what Kame is referring to. It makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. The fact that he knows exactly what Kame means. And the memories. Memories of them sneaking out at night to cycle all the way to the Edogawa River. Memories of them lying down in the wet grass to look at the starry sky. Memories of how beautifully the moon reflected in the dark water. They whispered their dreams and aims to each other and made promises they never ever wanted to break. 

But Kame is right. It’s different. The sky is illuminated by the city’s bright light with not a single star in sight and lights reflecting in the water are too colorful and shapeless. And no whispered dreams or promises of two 15 year olds are hanging in the air either.

*x*x*x*x*

The crumpled slip of paper weights heavier than it should in his pockets. Jin carries it around wherever he goes, no matter how reckless that is. It’s a receipt from the Lawson at Haneda airport. Two large cans of coffee and a tuna mayo onigiri on a Sunday at 10.30 pm paid with a 10,000 yen bill. Every time Jin looks at it, he smiles at the feeling that some things haven’t changed. They probably never will. On the back is a mobile number tidily written in green ink. Kame didn’t add his name to it, but it would be fatal if he lost it nevertheless. 

It’s been almost three weeks since the party and Jin has no clue why he neither saved the number nor contacted Kame yet. He’s been busy with the album, the preparations for his fanmeeting and the festival and looking after Theia while Meisa was out filming, but he wouldn’t have been too busy to write a short mail to Kame. Wish him luck for the end of the tour maybe. Or just let him know he saved his number. Some days Jin tells himself that Kame is probably too occupied with work to write back anyway. 

They talked for a while about lots of trivial things that seemed safe to talk about. And most of it was. Kame didn’t stay much longer, because he had filming for something early the next day. He also didn’t talk with anyone else. 

Eventually, Jin saves the number on his phone and throws the bill in the document shredder. Better be safe than sorry.

Meisa made them spaghetti with self-made tomato sauce for the evening he just needs to heat up. She went to filming right after Jin came back home in the late afternoon, so he’s all alone in the vegetable battle this time. 

As it turns out, Meisa is better at the unfair tricks than him. Jin thought mixing the spaghetti with the sauce right away will make it impossible for Theia to reject the tomatoes. But Theia eyes her meal skeptically before she starts to grab the spaghetti with her hands and tries to separate them from the sticky red sauce before she deems them edible. 

In the end, there’s tomato sauce everywhere. On Theia’s hands, around her mouth, some has gotten in her hair even, on the table, really everywhere but not _in_ her mouth. Theia frowns at her tiny red hands and spreads her fingers so they don’t stick together complaining about how she’s still hungry and why did the tomatoes stick to the spaghetti that much anyway? Jin can’t resist the urge to take a picture of her unsatisfied, tomato-covered face, before he is back to being a responsible parent who cleans her up and gives her plain spaghetti and the leftover tonkatsu he had the night before making her promise not to tell Meisa.

When he tucked Theia in and cleaned the kitchen, Jin gets out his phone to look at the picture he took earlier. His finger hover over the screen before he forwards it to LINE. He’s about to send it to Meisa to cheer her up from the all-nighter she’s right in the middle of. She might appreciate the fact that he loses the vegetable battles while she’s most victorious, but on the other hand she might not be happy that he let Theia get away with her pickiness. 

Jin hesitates once more before he sends the picture to the last number he added to his phone book along with a short message. 

_You can welcome a new member in your secret no-tomatoes-club. Good luck with your last concerts!_

Three hours and 2 beers later, Jin’s phone buzzes on the nightstand. 

_She just knows what’s good!_ it says and it’s followed by a huge collection of different smiling emojis and that sticker of the bear throwing confetti. 

Sometimes Kame’s messages are more colorful than a 15 year old girl’s. No wonder replying takes him so long. Shortly after that, his phone buzzes again. 

_Not that I ever doubted it, but your daughter is freaking adorable._

This time, there are lots of different hearts and Jin couldn’t wipe the smile off his face even if he tried before he falls asleep.

### Fall

Early October gets quite busy for Jin with a single and an album in the making and his tour starting in December. It seems to get busy for KAT-TUN too, with a new single, a new drama for Kame and Ueda and a movie about skydivers for Nakamaru. Jin saw that on the news. 

The other day he sent Kame a dozen pictures of Theia’s birthday party and the hideously pink cake they got her. Theia loved it and it was delicious, but also very very very pink and also very glittery. Some people said he was trying to escape from the glitter when he went solo, but it seems like Jin can never escape the glitter. It’s funny somehow. Kame teased him about the cake and the glitter too. It was refreshing and by now Jin has ended up writing him things like _You should’ve seen it live!_ and Kame replies with mails that say _What I’d have given to see you eat a glitter cake…_. Every message accompanied by a huge selection of emoji, even when Kame is busy. 

Kame never writes any details about work or anything too personal. Jin didn’t notice at first, but then he started pushing it. The other day he sent Kame pictures from the studio and all the infos about the new songs and the new album he could think of. He even sent him two different versions of the same song asking Kame which one would be better, because he’s not quite sure about that. 

Kame just wrote him that he was in the studio, too “ _for some stuff_ ” and tells him the second version he sends sounds nicer. Nothing more. He never mentions any KAT-TUN member when Jin starts telling - and sometimes making up - funny stories about Zen or Dom or his manager. One time he even mentions Josh when he has been careful before not to, just to get a reaction from Kame, but he’s mainly polite and short and his answers almost generic. No stories from the dogs or his niece or the hairdresser messing up his air. Sometimes Jin is disappointed, but he also knows that he should be glad that Kame deems him important enough to even exchange trivialities with, with his limited schedule and his habit not to answer messages that aren’t related to work much. And Jin still doesn’t get why. 

He thinks about confronting Kame and asking him – nicely – to remove that fucking stick someone apparently shoved up his ass, but Jin doesn’t want to drive him away. Whatever Kame wants from him now after all these years, maybe it makes sense for Jin to be careful and patient about it. Until whenever. 

Sometimes Jin starts typing random messages. He complains about how he thinks Meisa is a little too obsessed with forcing Theia to eat fruits and vegetables when she clearly doesn’t like them. Or that he just had a talk with Meisa’s mother who told him that the only healthy food Meisa would eat was goya when she was little. That Meisa still is obsessed with goya which Jin doesn’t understand at all, because goya tastes awful. That he still steals a piece from her plate every now and then, because it reminds him of Okinawa and the beach, the sound of the waves at night, the heat and how everything is so easy when you’re young. He always deletes those messages without ever sending them.

*x*x*x*x*

Jin stares at the message on his phone for several minutes. They just finished filming the fanclub video message for his new single. It went quicker than they thought, so that they have some time until Daishi will come to talk about the collaboration for the single Jin wants to release around February. The party obviously was very good for something else. 

Everyone around him is bustling about, but Jin is glad for that. That means they will leave him alone with his coffee and his phone. At which he must be staring for almost 10 minutes straight now. 

_I know things are busy during the short time you’re here. But it would be cool if you could come over Wednesday or Thursday. I’m free and I could cook us something, so we can catch up._

It’s a cold Saturday that Jin is happy to spent in the studio even though it’s not as warm here as he would have liked it. He feels warmer as he reads the message, even though it’s a weird one. Not because Kame actually managed to have two days off in one week as it seems, but because it’s nowhere related to whatever they have talked about before. And it’s Kame. Inviting him to catch up on whatever. The weather maybe or the new conditioner Kame tried the other day. 

_I don’t quite have the luxury to know about my days off this week yet, but it could be arranged if my manager is having a good day. I think he got his wife pregnant, but he wouldn’t tell us, so things might look good here!_

Jin reads it over and over, before he finals presses send. If it’s really meant for him, fine. If it’s not, Kame has to deal with it. His phone rings 10 minutes later.

“Hey…,” Kame says and the hesitant tone of his voice makes Jin grin. 

It’s noisy wherever Kame is, though the noise is somewhere in the distance, a faint rustling and bustling through the receiver. 

“Sorry for that mail, I meant to send it to my brother. He’s in Tokyo this week and I’d hoped to meet him.” 

Jin is almost disappointed by that. But okay, there was no way this mail was for him anyway. 

“Yeah, I thought so. It’s no problem.” 

It really is not. Jin doesn’t even know if he’d be free. But still. 

“If you end up being free after all, I’d look forward to the tagliatelle with that creamy seafood sauce and cheese you used to make. It’s been _ages_. And some nice dessert.” 

Kame is silent on the other end of the line and that alone makes Jin grin widely. It’s always nice to catch Kame off-guard. Josh throws him a questioning look when he passes him with a huge box full of headphones in his arms. For all everyone knows, Jin could be talking to his wife on the phone. Josh will know he’s not. 

“Seafood, mmh?” Kame very belatedly says, amusement evident in his voice. 

Somehow, his only reaction to Jin seems to be amused these days. Jin can live with that as long as this is what makes No-Emotion-Kamenashi happy, he thinks. 

“And noodles and dessert,” Jin confirms and can’t suppress a giggle. 

“It shouldn’t be the first time that you invite guests over, should it?”

“No, but it’s the first time guests invite themselves over.”

“What? We used to do that all of… oh…” 

Kame starts laughing, loud and carefree and Jin wants to hug someone, because he already feared that Kame might not be capable of that anymore. At least when he’s around Jin. 

“Okay, okay… old habits… you know me. Never getting rid of those,” Jin adds lamely. 

Kame still giggles and it almost feels like Christmas.

“Right. It’s good not to get rid of them. Well… maybe not all of them at least. But now I should really go… I will let you know if I’ll be free?” Kame sounds insecure again and this is so weird. Jin can’t really remember hearing Kame ever be insecure. At least not since they filmed Gokusen together. 

“Yes, great… I’m already… well, I mean… it would be cool if that’ll work out.” Jin tries to hide the blush spreading on his face, because he doesn’t know why he is even blushing. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see Josh suppressing a giggle and Dom’s curious glances. He’s so not going to tell them anything. 

“Okay, I’ll let you know! Bye!” 

Kame hangs up before Jin can say anything else. He doesn’t feel like he has to.

*x*x*x*x*

They have to reschedule to Friday the week after in the end. Kame’s work schedule got pretty much messed up, but he managed to clear the Friday at last. Jin was right about his manager’s wife’s pregnancy and that he could benefit from the great mood he’s in. In the end, he got the whole Friday and even half of Saturday off. 

Though that led to the clear disadvantage of him having too much time to pick an outfit. He already spent half of Friday morning standing in front of his wardrobe and throwing different pieces of clothing through the room while Meisa’s lying on the bed and keeps teasing him about how he acts like he’s going on a date. Which he totally isn’t and she should know. What else she should know is that she just makes him _nervous_ when she continues teasing him about dates and buying flowers.

She stops eventually when Jin gets extremely desperate after Meisa cracks up at some made-up rule that wearing a suit would totally make this a date, especially when Kame’s said he likes Jin in suits.

Everything improved when Meisa stopped rolling on the bed laughing and actually helped him pick an outfit. So there he was in light grey khakis, a white shirt with glittery grey buttons he didn’t even know he owned and a black blazer. Jin doesn’t even know why he’s so nervous. He meets up with friends on a daily basis. This shouldn’t be so different. Only it is in more than just one way. 

Kame opens the door just a few seconds after Jin rings the doorbell. It smells delicious already when Kame lets him in and Jin strips his shoes off in the genkan. Jin has never been to this apartment of Kame’s before. It’s way bigger than his previous place. It also looks much more disorganized than what he’s used to from Kame.  
There are two sofas in the living room that don’t really match for all Jin can tell. Behind the huge black leather couch there is a huge oak shelf filled with photos and what looks like pamphlets. In another corner there’s a massage chair with a Louis Vuitton blanket and a white TV bank with a giant flatscreen. An expensive looking room divider is dividing the living room from the dining room where Jin sees the huge picture of Kame that Ohno painted for him next to the dining table. The room divider is made from black wood and holds more pictures and books tidily arranged according to height or thickness or the alphabet or maybe the number of pages in relation to how many colours are on the cover art. 

Between some of the pictures there is some space as if some were removed from there and never replaced. Jin doesn’t pry as much as he’d want to when he gets a vague idea of whose faces are missing there. 

Kame leads him to the dining table that could seat 12 people at least. It’s a huge glass table with legs made from dark wood. Jin knows that Kame needs the space, but for two people this is a bit weird. For only one person, it’s extremely lonely. Their dishes are already neatly arranged in one corner of the table and there’s a huge flower bouquet in the other corner of it.

Jin takes a look at Kame who looks good in his tight black jeans that are tastefully ripped around his knees, as well as a white short-sleeved shirt that lets his shoulders look nicely broad. As much as Kame’s shoulders can look broad, that is. 

“Uhm… thanks for the invitation,” Jin belatedly says and hands Kame the gift bag with the bottle of whiskey he brought.

He wondered about how to wrap it earlier and almost threw the bottle at Meisa when she suggested the pink wrapping paper with the Disney princesses they used for Theia’s birthday presents. In the end, she gave him a simple silver gift bag that matches the buttons of his shirt. Very coincidentally though, she’s said. Jin pointedly ignored that, but he’s so paying her back for all the teasing soon. 

Kame looks flustered when he stares at the bottle of E. H. Taylor Jr, Small Batch whiskey. It’s the same Jin bought him as a present when he went to LA for the first time. Kame had loved it and they met up regularly to have a glass of it each until they stopped talking when they were only halfway through. Jin wonders what happened to the rest of it. 

“That is… thank you…” 

Kame’s voice sounds a little shaky as he all but stares at the bottle. Or maybe it’s just Jin imagining things, but his stomach fills with a sudden pang of nostalgia too. Jin is actually tempted to say something like “no, this is actually whiskey”, but he doesn’t. He just smiles rather shyly and nods as Kame hugs the bottle close to his chest. 

“Would you like something to drink? Sorry, I forgot to ask.”

Jin has to laugh a little. It’s awkward when Kame is so formal with him. At some point he’d stopped asking Jin and just let Jin get himself something to drink whenever he wanted some. But they haven’t been like that anymore for ages. But even when they’re formal, things are still a bit out of order. Jin likes being out of order with Kame while Kame doesn’t really. Jin can tell as much. He finds it almost amusing. 

“Water would be good for now. Sparkling, if you have that.”

Kame nods and starts to relax a little. It probably helps that he has something to do with his hands. Jin almost wants to giggle at the awkwardness. 

He thanks Kame as he hands him the water glass. It’s one of the glasses Kame’s already had for years and for some reason that relieves him. _Really_ relieves him.

“Food will be ready soon. Would you like some wine with the starters? I also have beer, though.” 

Kame probably stocked up his fridge with everything Jin might like even though Kame doesn’t. The thought makes Jin feel all fuzzy and warm. 

“I’ll stick with water for now, but would like some wine for the main course.”

He hasn’t had much to eat today, because he was so nervous. Even though he kept telling himself it was because he wanted to keep lots of space in his stomach for the food Kame would make him. It was a wise choice, only wine on an empty stomach wasn’t a good idea.

“White or red?” Kame licks his lips a little nervously. “White would go better with the seafood, but…”

But Jin doesn’t like white. Never really did. It makes Jin curious whether Kame also remembered which kind of red wine Jin likes. 

“I’d prefer red, to be honest,” Jin confirms with a smile and Kame looks very pleased and suddenly even more nervous at the same time. 

Kame just nods before he briefly vanishes again to get the bottle of red wine he shows to Jin. His hands seem a bit shaky and not less nervous. Jin thinks he gets why when he sees the label. 

_1986 Chateau Lateur._

Someone did his homework well. And paid a fuckton of money for an awkward dinner. Though for Kame this was probably only half of his daily earnings. 

“Stalker,” Jin all but laughs tenderly. He’s probably equally nervous though. “This is perfect.”

A smile tugs around Kame’s lips as he blushes a little relief evident on his face.

“Hey, can you still do that cool thing from that drama? The… filling the wine into that glass thing?” 

Jin never got the chance to see if Kame could really do that or whether it was some trick. Kame looks puzzled and very confused. 

“You watched it?”

“Sure.” 

Jin shrugs as if that was only logical. Only it wasn’t really. Not with how things were between them back then and with Jin’s interest in wine being almost nonexistent. To be fair, he watched the drama on a streaming site and forwarded the most boring parts with the endless wine talk. But he still watched it and that’s what counts, he finds. 

Kame still looks a little puzzled, but returns to the kitchen to come back with… that glass thing he is about to pour the wine in. “Decanter,” he says grinning as he puts it on the table. Trust Kame to have that at home and still know what it’s called. 

Jin watches curiously as Kame opens the bottle. He furrows his brows in concentration the way the always does when he slowly pours the wine into the fancy _decanter_. It smells delicious already and like it goes perfectly well with whatever excellent food they are about to have. Jin can’t wait to drink it. 

“So… you’ll save your prayers to Baccus for later?”

“Oh, shut up…” 

Kame laughs as he puts the wine on the other end of the table. 

“I know it was ridiculous, okay? “ 

That makes Jin grin and nod in agreement. It really was. He imitated it for a while the few times he drank wine when he was alone. Sometimes he couldn’t even start because he was laughing madly. 

Something beeps in the kitchen and Kame asks him to have a seat while he gets them their starters. 

It’s poached egg with blue cheese, Kame explains to him. Apparently it’s something he charmed off of a French cook. 

It’s delicious. More than delicious actually even though it didn’t sound like something Jin would have ever ordered. Jin finds a tiny tomato sitting buried under the cheese and he sneaks a peek into Kame’s plate which is obviously tomato-free.

“Are you mocking me?” Jin can’t help but ask holding up his fork with the tomato on it.

Kame looks intrigued, but not like he has an idea what Jin is talking about. Right, Jin never sent those mails that would explain it.

“Well, Meisa is a bit… exaggeratedly keen on giving Theia lots of vegetables and fruits only Theia really hates them. Hey, I sent you that picture of her with the tomato sauce, right? So yeah, I thought you were mocking me with that stray tomato in my food.”

“What if I am?” 

Kame smirks. Jin knows that look. Kame has started testing and teasing him. Dumbass. 

“Then I’d stuff your mouth with that tomato.”

Jin enjoys the shocked expression on Kame’s face. This time he even enjoys the way Kame tenses, the distaste only too evident around his mouth. But his face switches to evil in the blink of an eye and Jin’s stomach makes a very weird flip. 

“I know one or two ghost stories… You know, once there was…”

Jin gasps and stuffs the tomato in his own mouth as Kame is eyeing it suspiciously, but also very evilly. With him, it’s better not to risk anything. Jin knows that all too well. 

“So, what was that random tomato about?”

“It’s part of the original recipe.”

Kame merely shrugs at that before he continues eating, but his eyes wander from Jin’s mouth to his plate as if another wild tomato is about to appear and attack him.

“So, you bought a lonely little tomato just for one meal?”

Especially when the tomato doesn’t really add anything to the flavor of the dish, but Jin won’t say that out loud and Kame probably doesn’t even know that. It was cute anyway.

“I still had it here.”

Which doesn’t make that much more sense to Jin who raises an eyebrow. 

“Nakamaru gave it to me,” Kame elaborates and licks his lips nervously. If that’s still about the tomatoes, Kame should see someone to heal him from his tomato paranoia. Not that Jin is going to suggest that. But maybe this time it’s also some bandmember paranoia or whatever. And it’s still bizarre. Why would Nakamaru give a tomato to Kame of all people?

“He grows them on his balcony along with different kind of herbs and he always brings us stuff after he harvests it. My niece loves tomatoes, so he gives me some for her. I used one for the food.”

And finally things make sense again. Fight against paranoia won. For now. Jin has to smile.

“So… you stole a little girl’s precious vegetables?” 

“Yeah. I don’t think Meisa would approve, right?”

They both crack up at that. 

“Not at all. She’d stick a picture of you to the wall and throw darts at it. Or spoons.”

That just makes Kame laugh harder and Jin is almost disappointed that he doesn’t do the weird stomping and clapping anymore. But he’s laughing wholeheartedly and that makes up for everything else.

“At least she might be pleased to hear that I didn’t steal more healthy food from small children. And my niece still had her share of tomatoes.”

“I would’ve kept it our little secret anyway.”

Kame’s smile is warm and his cheeks are still red and probably hot as he gets up to take their empty plates away. 

“This was super delicious by the way.” 

The smile gets wider and Kame all but runs in the kitchen. Probably to hide. But maybe also to prepare the main course. 

It’s a bit weird sitting alone in Kame’s dining room. Jin won’t be allowed to help in the kitchen, but he also doesn’t want to get up and look around too noisily. Kame used to hate that. So he tries to subtly look around more from where he’s sitting to spot the tiny little things that might tell him more about the Kame now. Jin tries to check out the books on the room divider. There’s the Joker Game novel next to Ore Ore and Tokyo Bandwagon. Kame does his homework well. There’s a bunch of thin scripts with colorful post-its peeking out from in between the white pages. Jin wonders if that’s thousands of offers from producers who would kill to have Kame act in their movies or dramas or if they are from whatever scripted show he’ll be on.

Looking around without really looking gets boring eventually, so Jin grabs his glass of water and gets up to lean on the kitchen’s doorframe. Kame has pinned his hair away from his face with a red Minnie Mouse pin, his clothes covered with a ridiculously clean blue apron. He gives Jin a don’t-you-dare-trying-to-help-look as he stirs the creamy sauce. The noodles are already cooking in a pot next to him. Kame’s kitchen is huge but narrow and made from light brown wood. It’s pretty dark especially with the high white walls covered in a variety of cupboards that don’t always match the rest of the kitchen. Kame has always been a sucker for collecting glasses and whatever kitchenware. 

“It’s getting boring there all alone. I won’t try to help, so don’t worry,” Jin explains eventually which makes Kame laugh. 

He looks pleased though and even lets Jin try the sauce to decide what’s still missing. Jin considers that a huge improvement. They used to do that a lot years ago.

“That’s a nice kitchen.”

“It’s great… but narrow.” Kame makes a face of disapproval as he shakes his head. “I mean, it actually is pretty huge, but just…”

“Too narrow?”

Jin laughs as Kame is about to hit him with a dishtowel. 

“I really wanted a new apartment with a huge living and dining room _and_ a balcony. I’d hoped to find one with a huge kitchen as well, but that was impossible in this area.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

Finding a suitable apartment in Tokyo can be a pain in the ass. Even if you don’t have to worry too much about the money. It took Meisa and him ages to find an apartment with 3 bedrooms and a huge living space as well. Jin even pestered their real-estate agent how families with more kids can even find _anything_. But in the end it helped that Jin had way more time for apartment hunting than Kame would ever have. 

“I’ve gotten used to it by now, though. And it’s pretty convenient actually. When I’m just cooking for myself, I take one of my speakers and a chair from the dining room here, so I can sit and relax while cooking. It’s nice.”

Jin thinks it sounds extremely lonely.

“When did you move in?”

“About… three years ago, maybe. I thought it was time for something new and this is closer to my parents’ and my brother’s place.”

It’s probably nicer for his mother too that he lives closer. Jin wonders whether she still comes over for groceries and cleaning and who’s taking care of Kame’s dogs. 

“You moved as well, I guess?”

“Yeah… my place was just too small and Meisa’s… it could’ve worked, but we didn’t want to live right in central Tokyo. Our new place isn’t even far from here actually.”

Jin was surprised when Kame mailed him his address. He wondered how he never ran into Kame when he went on a walk with Theia on nice days. Then again, accidentally running into Kame was nearly impossible. Until recently at least. Kame looks surprised too, but it’s a good kind of surprise Jin guesses. 

“You can take the salad bowl back into the dining room already. I’ll be there with the food in a few.”

Okay, that’s probably all of the help Kame allows Jin to be for the day. So Jin dutifully takes the bowl to the dining room briefly wondering whether the wrong choice of placement might ruin their whole dinner. With Kame you never know. 

It doesn’t take long indeed until Kame comes back without the apron and his hair back in order carrying a bowl with two kinds of cheese topping in two different compartments and a larger one with a variety of baked vegetables _definitely not stolen from small girls_. 

The pasta smells awesome as Kame gets them their plates. There are little tagliatelle nests, the seafood sitting neatly arranged in the middle of them. It smells even more delicious when Kame sets the plate down in front of Jin. And it actually takes all the patience Jin can muster up not to dig in right away. 

Kame pours him a glass of the red wine and stares at his own glass, decanter still in hand. He’s probably thinking is typical Kamenashi-thoughts about whether a wine that doesn’t go too well with the food is acceptable for him. 

“You can have another wine if you prefer something that goes better with the food, you know? You don’t need to have what I’m having.”

Jin grins at how caught Kame looks all of a sudden before he smiles shyly.

“No, I’ll go for the red wine too. I’ve never had it before and it comes recommended.”

That makes Jin shake his head. Only Kame would buy such an expensive wine without knowing what it tastes like. Right.

Finally, Kame is all sorted too and raises his wine glass.

“To a… hopefully good meal.” 

Kame grins awkwardly which makes Jin laugh. Finally Jin impatiently loads his portion with cheese and also politely takes some vegetables and salad. It’s heaven. All of it is. 

“God, that’s thousand times better than I remember it.” 

“I haven’t changed anything about the recipe though,” Kame says and he looks a bit flustered. 

“Then you just got way better at cooking. You’ve had lots of practice after all, I guess.”

Kame’s shy laugh makes Jin smile. 

“The herbs I used for the salad dressing are from Nakamaru’s balcony too,” Kame informs him right before he bites his lips and apologizes.

“What for? I don’t think you climbed up his balcony at night to steal them from him. And I also don’t think your niece loves herbs so much you had to steal them from her?”

Kame laughs a little busying himself with his food. 

“Well, no. She likes it when I put them in the food, but she doesn’t really like eating them just like that.” 

And that’s that.

Jin watches Kame take another sip from the wine, eyes closed, head leaning back a little. It gives Jin a hard time not to stare at Kame’s adam’s apple when he swallows it very slowly. There’s that pleased Kame-smile on this lips. The one that says that he’s totally blissed out from whatever he’s eating or drinking. Kame always likes to enjoy his food with his whole body. It causes goose bumps along Jin’s spine. 

“So, how is Nakamaru doing with the skydivers?”

Kame almost spits out the next sip he took before he sets the glass aside and seems to find his shrimps way more interesting than just a second ago. 

“I think he didn’t have any actual skydiving scenes yet. And maybe they’ll do him a favor and only work with CG or something.”

Jin nods as he tries a bit of baked broccoli that is covered in the home-made marinade of Kame’s mother. It still tastes like it did the last time Jin ate it. Still tastes like home. 

“My first thought was that he might ask you to become his stunt double.”

Jin grins, even though Kame just says “Yeah”. This is going back to awkward again. Jin doesn’t like that. Especially because he doesn’t know if he gets what the problem is. 

“I met up with Maru a few times after I left. But somehow that didn’t last too long.”

Maybe Kame doesn’t know that. Maybe he does. The way he’s going tense again he could know everything, but also nothing at all. 

“Kame… we can talk about it, you know? It’s all in the past and we shouldn’t pretend this never happened.”

Jin just doesn’t get it. By now, he’s sure that Kame _likes_ that he’s kind of back in his life and with him a piece of the past. Even if it comes with very inconvenient pieces of the past. But on the other hand Kame doesn’t seem to want pieces of the past wherever he is. If Jin thought about it more, he’s sure his head would explode with all the things he just doesn’t get. 

Kame takes another sip of his wine which seems to relax him again at last. But not enough, because he’s still frowning into his food. 

“I also really want to know what the guys are doing,” Jin tries next.

Even though it’s hurting him sometimes to think about how much fun they’re having together. It’s not as bad anymore as it was back then. But it’s still weird to see them carry on without him. There’s an old hurt he never got over, even though his own life eventually changed for the better. The hurt still surfaces sometimes. It’s always like that when you never had someone to take it all away again. Kame probably doesn’t know this would be his chance.

“It’s hurting me too, you know. I just don’t get it. Do you want me to pretend we’ve never met and I don’t know any of your friends or colleagues? That’s not how this works and frankly speaking that’s not what I want to do.” 

Kame bites his lips, but he nods. And he still continues to eat which is always a good sign and Jin doesn’t have to worry about picking the wrong timing for this kind of conversation. 

“I know... and I know things are a bit too awkward. I mean, it’s cool to talk to you again, but things are difficult.”

Sometimes Jin wonders how Kame manages to hide this side of his from everybody. And if it doesn’t feel lonely in the long run that he feels like he has to. But some things never change and Jin is very glad for this. He still knows how Kame’s weird brain works sometimes. 

“And sometimes it’s _you_ who makes things difficult in that crazy brain of yours. Well then, good thing I’m here so we can make things work now.”

Kame laughs as he shakes his head. This is probably all the acknowledgement Jin gets from him for his brilliant ideas. For now.

“Nakamaru never said anything that you met.”

“Well, would you have liked that?”

Kame’s eyes widen as he stares at Jin. He can almost hear him think with this crazily stupid brain.

“No. I think I would’ve been mad at him. It just didn’t feel right at that time. I mean, he’s free to hang out with whoever he wants, but…”

But ex-members are not approved. Just as Jin would’ve guessed.

“I think that’s exactly why we stopped meeting at some point. We always claimed to be very busy with work until we just didn’t talk anymore. But I guess it’s just been excuses because it felt awkward and a little wrong even. Which was stupid.”

Jin finished his pasta and just gets up to get himself a second helping. Kame doesn’t even protest. Maybe because he needs a moment to digest what Jin’s told him. Maybe because that’s his way of signaling Jin that things are about to get back to how they used to be.

“It’s always like that, isn’t it?” Kame says when Jin comes bad.

It wasn’t that different with them. Only it was more complicated, the reasons not as clear, the hurt way bigger than it could have been with anyone else.

“You know, back then I thought the way we had to handle it was the right way. And the best way for all of us. It was easier to pretend you left us because you hated us and KAT-TUN. Easier to pretend you’ve never been there. That it was better for us and also for you, because we knew you’d only get us in trouble and the band wasn’t your priority anymore. It helped, only we were cowards and it was the biggest bullshit ever.”

Jin almost chokes on his food. Talk about unexpected. “I always thought it sucked that I wasn’t really allowed to talk about you. One, two statements that were only half-true and that was that. And it hurt when you all acted like I’ve never been a part of KAT-TUN. But I guess that deep down I expected things to go that way.”

It was hard still.

“Yeah. Now I kind of know… the worst wasn’t the words that were spoken, but the words that were never said,” Kame says quietly.

Jin halts as he puts more cheese on his noodles. His hand starts to shake a little and a lump forms in his throat.

“That’s true,” he manages eventually and now _he_ starts to feel uncomfortable and the urge to get away from the conversation. 

“I wish I had realized sooner that it helps to just talk about it. I mean, it’s still hard and difficult, but… it makes you feel a little better afterwards.” Kame looks up at Jin determination evident on his face.

Jin doesn’t really have a clue what exactly Kame is referring to. Maybe he’s avoided more news than he thought he did. “Yeah. You know, one day after they terminated Koki’s contract, I saw Ueda in the corridors. I kind of wanted to go over and just… say something. But I didn’t know what. And he also didn’t seem like he’d appreciate it. If anyone said anything, I mean. Though I was probably the last person he wanted to hear something from.” 

Kame looks at him carefully, but nods after all. He couldn’t deny that that was true even if he wanted. 

“It’s… well, the first few days have been quite something.” 

“I know. I followed it a bit and I’ve never seen Nakamaru so mad. Except for that one time I… saw that someone had spilled whipped cream.”

“So it was you!”

Suddenly Kame’s face lights up with a knowing, but also evil grin. Jin shakes his head so vehemently that he almost gets dizzy from it. 

“No! No! I really didn’t! It was someone else.”

Though Jin should’ve just admitted it and let Kame tease him for a little longer. Kame is back to that guarded expression, all happiness and amusement wiped off of his face. 

“He was, though. Mad, I mean. I think he was the one who was the maddest at Koki.”

Jin nods, though it’s unexpected. His bets would’ve been on Kame, but he doesn’t pry. A lot can change behind the scenes in 3 years.

“I’m still happy you decided to continue.”

This is true and Kame seems to see that on his face. Jin also talked about that with Zen, Josh and Dom on a drunken night after the announcement. They didn’t understand why he still cared that much. Even Yamapi only half-understood which was the most frustrating thing ever. A few years ago, Jin would’ve just sulked and stopped talking to him. But Kame should understand. Maybe he even felt the same way about Jin all along. 

“I should get our desserts,” he says after a slow nod.

Jin waits in silence wondering whether he crossed some line. Only Kame’s line is probably some weird zigzag or a random twirly pattern. Kame takes the empty plates and the bowls to the kitchen, but Jin doesn’t get up to wait for him this time. Let Kame have some time for himself for a while. It’s always been better that way. Especially when they fought about nothing. But they’re not fighting now. They’re just being honest. And the air is not heavy and Kame hasn’t kicked him out yet. It could be way worse.

It takes Kame 10 minutes to come back with deliciously smelling brownies topped with whipped cream and sauce made from dark chocolate, as well as a glass of liqueur. Jin wonders if _now_ Kame is mocking him with last minute whipped cream. The liqueur smells a little like vanilla and apparently is an excellent match with the brownies. The brownies are filled with still liquid chocolate and taste like pure heaven. Jin is glad he threw all of his dieting plans over board for this evening. 

“God, this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

Kame seems very pleased and they talk about where to buy the best chocolate for baking and the restaurant where Kame exchanged the brownie recipe for excellent rainbow cupcakes he wants to make for his family on New Year’s if he finds the time. 

They don’t talk about Koki or KAT-TUN until they sit on Kame’s huge couch a glass with the whiskey Jin brought in hand. It’s Kame who brings it up again.

“They actually let us choose this time. Whether we wanted to break up for good or whether we’d want to continue as 4.”

“Noble.”

Kame smirks, but his face looks mainly bitter.

“However you want to look at it. They had backup plans for each of us. Had it all planned out in case we choose a break-up. They even managed to make disbanding more appealing than it should’ve been. We made it pretty clear that that was not what we wanted, but they tried to encourage us. Think about it some more. I was waiting for them to tell us how much trouble we caused them already.”

Jin remembers these kind of meetings. Remembers the hurt, the feeling of betrayal. Sharp eyes of familiar faces trying to urge him to do things he didn’t really want to do. The madness in their faces when they realize they’re not having it their way. It’s probably easier when you’re not alone.

“It felt like forever until they realized how sure we were of what we wanted to do and that disbanding was out of the question. And now here we are.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. Not at all.”

Kame smiles and his face goes bright with how sure he is about it all. Some memories seem to play in his head and they seem to make him warm and comfortable. 

“Do you?”

It’s tricky. Trickier than all the people who pretend to know him could ever imagine. For all Jin knows, Kame could ask him tricky questions on purpose now.

“I did in the beginning. Going solo was tough and… you know me. It was difficult with the lack of backup or input.”

Jin didn’t let his closest friends into his team for no reason.

“But… to be honest, I was so hurt and pissed off that all of you pretended I never existed that it got way better pretty soon. I don’t regret the way things are now. I just regret that we never had a chance to show that I left on good terms. That we never _took_ the chance to sort this out way earlier.”

Kame’s short fingers wrap around the crystal tumbler with the golden liquid. 

“I know. I really do. That’s why we were so adamant about talking about it this time. And about including everything. We just… wanted to stop pretending we were never 6… or 5.”

“I suppose management wasn’t that happy with that?”

“They were surprisingly easy about it.”

Kame would’ve probably made their lives’ hell if they got in their way _again_.

“Saying your name for the first time after what… 3 years? 4? was weirder than it should’ve been, really. Looking back at it, it’s ridiculous.”

It makes Jin laugh when Kame gives him a lopsided smile. 

“You totally did the Voldemort thing with me.”

“Don’t think you’ll ever have that much power over people.”

“Don’t think I’ll ever fail like that.”

Kame raises a daring eyebrow as Jin takes a triumphant sip from his own whiskey. It’s as good as he remembers it. 

Jin did see some of the worst though. Kame on TV, eyes empty and sad. Great actor Kamenashi Kazuya who couldn’t hide his anger and disappointed even though he tried. Blank like a piece of white paper. Maybe he didn’t even want to hide everything. Because no more hiding seems to be the new motto. 

“So how are things now… between all of you?” 

“Good. Well… it’s… the dynamics are very different all of a sudden and most stuff still takes some getting used to. That feels weird, because we know each other since forever. But somehow the balance is just a little off. “

That, Jin can imagine. With him and Koki gone it must be very weird. It would’ve been equally weird without Nakamaru and Junno or whoever. They always had their very special balance when they were 6. Jin wants to tell Kame that everything would be fine soon. But he knows about the sales and the dynamics within the group and what the fans think. Even though he thinks that things are improving for them after their last tour. 

“I get that. But you know, KAT-TUN have always been stronger than anyone every gave them credit for. I really hope things will be all right again. Between all of you. You know, once a skinny kid with ridiculously steep eyebrows and a fucking wicked curveball once told me that _if life gives KAT-TUN lemons, we’re making orange juice from them_.”

“That kid was pretty stupid and naïve.”

“I thought it was a very smart kid.”

Kame gives him a look that makes Jin laugh.

“Okay, I think _now_ that it was a very smart kid. It helped me a lot when things were tough.”

A smile is tucking around Kame’s lips. If Jin didn’t know better, he’d even say that Kame is _blushing_ at that. Might also be the alcohol.

“Do this for yourself too, okay? Not only for the fans or the others. Don’t just get totally distant with them.”

“I’m not distant.”

“I bet you are, Kame. I’ve known you long enough to be able to tell that. That you act all distant and professional around them, because they’re your _colleagues_ and not your close friends. That you never tell them what you’re up to these days or how your day was. Just because someone who was close _and_ your colleague pulled a dick move on you. He pulled a dick move on all of you.”

“I might have changed when it comes to that.” 

“No. I’m pretty sure you didn’t. Look, I didn’t expect you to reveal your darkest secrets to me on the spot. Not after all these years. And I don’t know if you’re just very considerate towards my feelings when you never mention KAT-TUN. But mails that say _it’s sunny today_ or _I just ate ice cream_ don’t make it sound like you’d want me to be close to you again.”

“You’re here.”

“Yes, because _I’m_ not the one who’s keeping everyone at distance. Also I invited myself.”

“Are we having an argument here?”

Kame looks smug when _he_ doesn’t have any right to be. Dumbass.

“No. _I_ have a very good point and _you_ have troubles admitting it.”

Jin knocks back the rest of his whiskey while Kame lets the words sink in. At least Jin hopes that’s what Kame’s doing. At least he doesn’t try to escape the situation by playing perfect host. Very good. 

“So what do you think I should do?”

He sounds surer now, but also a little sulky and daring. It’s an easy one though. Jin has thought it through.

“Just… let people a little closer. Not like spilling all of your dark secrets to them. But it helps letting other know what you really think or what you did at home or wherever. Get that stupid stick out of your ass that prevents you from doing so and stop being a paranoid fretbunny. I mean, it’s not like that’s the one thing that will change everything and solve all the problems, but it helps. Working with people you can consider pretty close friends feels better than working with people who would want to murder you in your sleep.” 

Kame frowns as he pours more whiskey into their tumblers.

“KAT-TUN never worked that way.”

“But KAT-TUN now is different from KAT-TUN then. You said yourself that you’ll need a new balance. Maybe that’s part of the new balance. If you don’t try you’ll never know. And it’s not like you’re working with total strangers.”

“You might have a point. Maybe.”

He still looks skeptical, Jin can see that. But at the same time he also looks kind of relieved as he sinks back into the cushions. 

*x*x*x*x*

They switched topics quickly after that until Jin thought it was time to go. Kame didn’t have the liberty of having the next morning off too. 

Jin considered taking a taxi, but Kame got so curious about where Jin lived now that he decided they should walk there. Claiming that a walk would make him sober again and give him new energy for the next day. It took them a while to get the navigation on Kame’s phone working. 

Most of the time they walked next to each other in silence. Jin used these moments to gaze up into the cloud- and starless sky. Kame’s question coming to his mind ever so often. It makes him think about regret and choices. About being made to do things you don’t want to do. About having to handle situations in a way you don’t want to handle them.

He watched Kame’s profile as he silently walked next to him eyes fixed on nothing. The image stays in his head for weeks.

### Winter

Jin loves the smell of the new shampoo Meisa bought for Theia. He buries his face in her hair whenever she scoots closer on the couch, even though she says that he should stop tickling her with his nose.

They put up a little Christmas tree in front of the living room window. Meisa decorated it with glittery pinks and purples and silvers on Theia’s demand. Jin thinks it’s nice that Meisa brings some color into the way too white room, but sometimes there’s too much pink for his liking. It’s good though that he was prepared not to be traumatized by that. It makes him wonder how your average salaryman-dad would handle sudden pink explosions in the apartment. 

Theia tugs on his shirt, the yellow one with the _Happy Jindependence Day_ print. 

“I want to watch a music program,” she says because yes, that Disney movie about that dog whose best friend is a snowman they’re watching is boring and weird. 

The music shows on Christmas were always pretty nice, never mind the glitter explosions. It only hurts a little bit. His manager tried getting him into the line-up of at least one show, even if it was a pre-recorded one. But these things are usually dominated by Johnny’s or AKB or whoever, so Jin didn’t get his hopes up too much. Spending the day with his princess is way better anyway. 

They zap through the channels and Jin is a little bit proud that Theia rejects all the AKB or SKE or whatever songs right away. She starts giggling happily when Yamapi appears on the screen in a red glittery suit with a shiny golden shirt and a green feather boa wrapped around his neck. The way the lights are reflecting from the costume, Jin wonders if the fangirls present are going to be blind soon. 

Theia tries to sing along, but she doesn’t even get half of the words right, the lyrics turning into an adorable gibberish. Jin tries very hard not to laugh. 

Eventually, Pi is replaced with another girl group and Theia demands changing channels again. There’s a Johnny’s medley with V6 and Kanjani before Kanjani perform a song about eating taiyaki under a rainbow in winter. It’s the most bizarre lyrics Jin has ever heard on a Christmas special. Or maybe even ever in his life. Theia finds them very funny when Jin explains to her what uncle Ryo is singing about.

KAT-TUN is on next with an orchestra version of White X’Mas and another Christmas song Jin has never heard before. They look happy which warms Jin’s heart and lets his stomach clench at the same time. 

Theia finds the rock-ish number that follows and is heavy on guitars and drums scary, because suddenly the nice men singing about snow and Christmas and love look all dark and mysterious while they sing about hiding secrets and leading a double life. There’s also a bit about torture in between the lines and okay, that’s not exactly appropriate for a Christmas show. Apparently it’s for one of Kame’s movies as if that makes it more appropriate. It’s kind of fitting for KAT-TUN though.

Jin listens to Theia ranting about how weird she thinks it was that the nice guys suddenly looked all evil and grumpy. He makes a promise to himself that he’ll marathon all of KAT-TUN’s concerts with her when she’s older so she’ll understand the charm of that. 

*x*x*x*x*

Theia is asleep for 3 hours already when the doorbell rings. Jin doesn’t expect anyone. Meisa has a key, but she most likely won’t come home before noon the next day anyway. Zen spends the evening with his fiancée and Dom and Josh are in America. Pi would have called first so he doesn’t wake up Theia.

It’s Kame who stares at Jin’s shirt. His face doesn’t look like it’s a Happy Jindependence Day. Or Christmas. He doesn’t really wait for Jin to let him in either. All he _does_ is walk past him stripping off his shoes in the genkan and march into the living room. Jin would expect him to be happier and more polite. 

In the living room, Kame holds up a red gift bag he hands over to Jin. 

“Merry Christmas.”

Jin looks at him dumbfounded when he opens it. It’s not like he understands what’s going on here at all. 

It’s a bottle of 30 year old Hibiki Suntory whiskey with some limited edition Christmas design of the label. 

“That’s… thank you.”

When Kame nods, Jin feels a little stupid. 

“So, you didn’t have dinner after all?”

They said that on the show. That the four of them would spend the rest of Christmas together.

“We did, but Taguchi didn’t want to let his girlfriend wait for too long and Nakamaru has work in a few hours.”

Somehow that relieves Jin more than it maybe should. 

Kame flops down on the couch and Jin gets them tumblers out of the living room cupboard that he fills with ice and the whiskey Kame brought. It’s easier when he has something to do, even though this is still bizarre. 

“Jin, listen.”

It scares Jin a bit and he automatically replays all of the interactions they had in the past months in his head. But he finds exactly nothing that would explain Kame’s strange behavior to him. 

“Listening.”

Even though he’s gone very stiff and still in his armchair when Kame takes a deep breath.

“We were in restaurant and… it’s a very discreet and paparazzi-free place, so I don’t think there will be _anything_ in the papers.”

Kame takes a careful sip and sinks further into the cushions. Trust him not to spill the beans right away.

“I mean, it didn’t have to mean anything, really. And it’s not even my business…”

“God, Kame. Just say whatever you have to say.”

“Sorry, but… Meisa was there, too. With a guy. And it looked like they were on a date.”

Jin can’t help but laugh and now it’s Kame’s turn to be the dumbfounded one. The next second he looks like Jin is insane. For someone who doesn’t _know_ , he probably is.

“Care to explain?” He asks more pissed than he maybe has the right to be.

His frosty expression matches the weather and makes Jin feel cold immediately, even though he keeps the living room quite cozy. 

“It’s complicated,” Jin starts which makes Kame raise an eyebrow. He looks like he has time for complicated though.

“Meisa and me… well, we _are_ married. On paper at least. And we are… quite happy with the way things are.”

Jin drinks from his whiskey that is burning in his throat. Kame is patient, but still seems to need more information.

“The thing is… I’m _playing for the other team_.”

“What!?”

At that, Jin rolls his eyes. He’d have expected Kame to know the regrettably short Wikipedia entry with baseball metaphors for sex by heart. But maybe that’s not Kame’s thing after all.

“I’m gay, Kame.” 

Kame stills looking like a little shocked but also like he’s not quite getting it. Or maybe he just doesn’t get what _catching_ has to do with it. Maybe he just doesn’t get how that fits into the whole story. 

“Do you want cake? Meisa made a great Christmas chocolate cake. We should have that.”

He doesn’t even wait for Kame’s answer, just vanishes into the kitchen to get them a huge piece each. It’s easier when he has a few to collect himself. And when he can keep his hands busy with something while he explains. 

“Since when do you know?”

It doesn’t sound judging. Just curious.

“For quite a while by now. I think the first time I was really certain of it, was around 2007 or maybe 2008. I had wondered before already. America helped a little there…”

Kame doesn’t look that surprised.

“I meant to tell all of you at some point. But somehow it didn’t come to that.”

Obviously.

“It’s okay. You didn’t have you, but it also wouldn’t have made us uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Kame smiles a little before he eats the cake in silence. It’s Jin’s turn to talk now anyway.

“2011 has been a great year all in all actually. Things went smoothly, but maybe not the way management had expected them to go. I was very happy about it though and filming for Ronin was a great experience as well. Only they kind of gave me shit for whatever. All of the time. They weren’t even pleased when I told them about Ronin, even though it was Hollywood and I told them beforehand and it fit well into the schedule. That is took so long until it was finally released wasn’t even my _fault_. It just started to feel like whatever I did, it was wrong anyway. And that was frustrating and pathetic and you know how much I hate feeling like that. All of the leftover hurt didn’t make things any better.”

Now it’s Jin’s turn to take a deep breath.

“I’d have preferred being at Countdown with all of you, but they sent me to _Nakai_ of all people. And on top of that… something just didn’t feel right in general. Something was missing and everything felt fucking complicated. 

“Meisa and I met up some time around Christmas that year to have a heart to heart talk. We got really drunk and I just had to tell her everything. Or rather everything she didn’t know already. And she was pissed too, because her manager made a fuss about some stories some gossip magazine invented. Something about her clubbing and hanging out with yakuza bosses and drug dealers. It was ridiculous, but he still had a hard time preventing them from being published. So he was really mad, called her irresponsible and all. And it was unfair, because no one she worked with ever complained about her and it wasn’t even her fault that some papers made up that crap. And we still don’t get what exactly his problem was when he knew it wasn’t true. When he should have been on her side. It was weird.”

Kame nods a little with a blank face. Jin wonders if he can guess what’s about to follow. Or whether he heard about that already. 

“So yeah… we got really drunk and suddenly… it sounded like a good idea to just… have a baby and get married. That that would make it easier for me to have children in the first place and she could show how responsible she is.”

“So basically, she wanted to do a very irresponsible thing to show her responsibility?” 

“Um… kind of.”

“Jin, that is dumb.”

Now Kame looks judging. That face creeps Jin out, even though he almost expected it to come.

“I know, okay? It was super dumb no matter how much sense it made while we were _drunk_. And I also know that that’s a very lame excuse. It wasn’t even supposed to _work_. I mean, what are the odds anyway? We even laughed about it the next morning over a hangover breakfast. Laughed about how stupid we were and how bad the sex was. And about that even Meisa can turn gay people straight. And then the call came a few weeks later.”

Jin’s face turns soft at the memory. He’s been so happy and so proud. At least until reality kicked in.

“An abortion was out of the question for both of us. So we met up to set up a plan how to continue and I guess… you know the rest.”

Kame puts his empty plate on the coffee table. Now it’s all out there. No more hiding and no more lies between them. 

“So… with not telling Johnny or anyone… that was the plan to get out?” 

Sometimes, Kame is very clever.

“Not at first. Maybe I was a bit afraid to tell him. Didn’t know whether he’d force us to abort the baby. But I also didn’t care much about the consequences. Maybe by not telling them I just wanted to avoid the judging faces. For a while I thought they would go all _well, then it can’t be helped_ at me and we’d continue like before. But the indefinite hiatus didn’t even surprise me in the end.”

“It would’ve been better if you told him.”

“Sure, but how should I have know what they’d do with me? Some things I used to get away with. Years ago. And suddenly I get the crap for stuff that wasn’t even my fault? How should I have known, Kame…”

Kame wets his lips and Jin pours them more whiskey. It helps him to think straighter. 

“Seriously, I didn’t know what to do anymore. I just knew he couldn’t kick me out for that.”

The look on Kame’s face is still judging and not pleased at all. But something in his eyes tells Jin that he maybe understands a little bit. 

“So I got the idea to just leave and found my own label when they forced me into that hiatus. It just fit and I didn’t think they would let me work ever again. I thought they’d just wait until the end of my contract and not renew it anymore. Maybe they would’ve even liked to do that. The comeback was unexpected, but it was easy to deal with that too.” 

“You built up an own company behind their backs?”

“Kame …” 

This can’t be all he comments on that. This can’t really be all Kame’s interested in. 

“There was a baby on the way and I had no clue whether I’d still have a job. And I didn’t want to continue working for people with weird mood swings who maybe can’t even stand me. I felt sorry for Warner, but this had to be done. And you don’t just build up your own company within 3 months.”

“No, I guess you don’t.”

“And Meisa’s been so supportive too. It’s risky, no matter how you want to look at it. We talked it through. All of it. And we didn’t know if there was another way for me. You never know how far Johnny’s blacklist reaches. And we didn’t know if both of us made it on there. Meisa helped me all the way and she has my back should things get tough.”

“Okay.”

“That’s all?”

Kame sighs. It makes Jin wonder whether it takes him a lot of effort not to roll his eyes. 

“It’s quite a lot to digest.”

That story probably has more plot than your average Jdrama. But Kame’s voice is soft and warm. Even during the words that follow.

“And it’s dumb and reckless and what were you even thinking?” 

“I know.”

Jin’s always hated that way of Kame’s that makes you feel small even when you’re as sure as you can be about something. The whiskey helps to calm down Jin’s nerves even though the glass has turned so warm in his hands that the ice is melting quickly turning his drink more watery than he likes it. He downs the rest in one go and enjoys the slight burning in his throat this time. 

They sit there in silence for a while. Jin lets Kame digest it all while he tries to figure out what to do next. He thinks about getting them some more cake, but doesn’t in the end.

“I sometimes envy you for that. Always did. You just do this dumb stuff without thinking about it. Even though it’s risky and ridiculous. But in the end everything just works out in your favor and it’s even better than before.”

Kame’s voice is almost shaking. They’ve always been different when it comes to that. Kame the patient, obedient and crazy workaholic who’d wait it out and who’d eat a lot of dirt until he gets what he wants. Jin always thought this was the better strategy, because no one ever gives Kame crap for anything. At least no one from their management. He’s always gotten what he wanted without corpses piling up around him on the way there. It’s something Jin envies him for a little, only he’s never been the type to go the same way. 

He gets up to sit next to Kame on the couch wrapping his hand around his knee to stroke it lightly with his thumb. Kame lets him and even falls against his side, head resting on Jin’s shoulder. They’ve always fit together nicely like that.

“It’s not that easy though,” Jin all but whispers. “Even if I don’t think about the risks or missing important chances or making the wrong choices at work, there’s still Theia. And Meisa. I don’t know how Theia will react to her parents loving other people. How she will react if she finds out why she was even born. If she’ll understand us or just hate us forever.”

Jin hears Kame sigh before he puts his hand over Jin’s. 

“She will understand, Jin. You will raise her, so she’ll understand and never be able to hate you ever. I’m pretty sure of that.”

*x*x*x*x*

The expressway is crowded which was to be expected before New Year’s. It’s a rainy day and Jin is happy that he’s in his warm car, KAT-TUN’s latest album and singles on repeat. It’s good that he drove there instead of taking the train or a plane. That way it’s easier not to raise suspicion amongst all the holiday and concert travelers. 

He booked a room in the Hotel Granvia Osaka because he knows that’s not the one KAT-TUN is staying in and it looked amazing from the pictures. 

Pi organized an All Access pass for him without asking any questions. If his request caused puzzlement or a commotion, Pi kept it well to himself. Jin doesn’t expect any trouble anyway. Maybe no one even cares anymore. 

It feels a bit ridiculous when he hides in his hotel room until doors open for the fans. But it makes sense to avoid running into fans or KAT-TUN, he tells himself. Kame’s kept him updated on their sightseeing tour all day and by now they’re most likely at the venue anyway. It just never hurts to be safe. 

It doesn’t even feel like Jin had to wait for long until he could finally enter the venue through a back entrance about 20 minutes before the show starts. Most of the fans are inside already and Jin is very sure that KAT-TUN are in their dressing room by now, busy with last minute preparations and the familiar excitement before every concert. 

Most of the staff don’t seem to recognize him which is kind of a relief. Jin hides away in the back of the VIP area hoping that no one in the arena will see him. They’re all too busy getting sorted on their seats anyway, even though some throw curious glances to his general direction. 

He chose to wear tight black jeans with a pattern made of silver rhinestones on the ass pockets as well as a simple black sweater with a low collar. Meisa helpfully recommended his favorite pair of red sneakers to go along with it. She took Theia on a trip to Okinawa to spend New Year’s with her family, because they haven’t seen the little one much this year and Meisa needed a break from Tokyo too. 

Jin is getting excited when the lights go out and the fans start screaming. Being on this side of the stage still feels weird, but Jin enjoys it nevertheless. The intro video starts playing on the huge screens all around the venue. The background of it is more colorful than Jin is used to, while KAT-TUN are all dressed entirely in black. 

The show is awesome and Jin loves it. It still stings when they sing Real Face without him and more than one time he feels tempted to just go up there and join them in teasing Taguchi or making fun of Kame. It’s a strange feeling he hasn’t felt that strongly before. But it’s a good kind of strange. These guys are just great together. 

It’s Kame who notices him when he goes past the VIP area. Somehow he gets even more hyper for the rest of the concert. 

*x*x*x*x*

Kame manages to get a hold of Jin before he can vanish silently. He hugs him as he wishes him a happy new year and won’t take no for an answer when he invites Jin for drinks with the others. Jin tries to talk himself out of it anyway, but when Nakamaru pats his shoulder and the others insist on him joining them too, he’s glad he didn’t succeed. 

They reserved a private booth in an expensive looking izakaya. It’s cozy and the menu looks excellent. And no one can really decide what to order first. In the end they order almost everything from the food menu and beer for everyone. 

Kame is sitting next to Jin, excitedly tells the others everything about them meeting at that party and staying in contact after that. He starts a long story about the vegetable battles and Jin’s adorable daughter who is very right to dislike tomatoes. After the fourth beer, he tells them that Jin never really hated them and that he’s still a shameless brat who invites himself for pasta. He’s leaving out Jin’s personal secrets, even though Jin wouldn’t mind if the others knew. It’s probably just not something to discuss today. 

It’s relaxing in a way Jin would’ve never thought it could be. They talk about the past and whipped cream, about all the recent changes in their lives and what their resolutions for the new year are. Jin tells them about the new movie he’s starring in. Filming starts in a week and Jin is excited already. They all promise to watch it and visit him on his next tour. 

Things are great and it feels like home again when Kame leans into him the way he always used to do whenever he was getting tipsy. 

Eventually they leave the izakaya, full and happy. Nakamaru calls them two taxis; one for the four of them and another one for Jin. 

“Come with us,” Kame whispers from next to him, his breath turning white in the cold night air. 

It makes Jin shiver, just like the smile on Kame’s face does.

They have a nightcap in Nakamaru’s room, before everyone returns to their room. Kame takes Jin to his. 

His room is even more amazing than the one Jin picked for himself, with Osaka Bay bright and colorful stretching out under them against the dark night sky. It’s mesmerizing.

Kame’s stopped somewhere next to the bed as Jin turns around from where he stopped in front of the window with a smirk on his face.

“So, you took me here for a show?”

“Show?”

Jin wonders whether the puzzlement on Kame’s face is because he’s tipsy or because he just doesn’t remember.

“Well, rumor has it you have a special relationship with hotel rooms. Or rather hotel beds and your underpants.”

“Stalker.”

Jin laughs when Kame blushes.

“My skin just gets sore, because my underpants are so _tight_. That’s all.”

Right.

“Excuses. You just like to touch yourself. _That’s_ all.”

Now it’s Kame who smirks looking all triumphant when it’s not him who’s winning this. Jin crosses his arms in front of his chest as he waits for whatever Kame plans in his drunken brain. He raises an eyebrow suspiciously when Kame unbuttons his jeans slowly before he pulls his T-Shirt over his head necklaces dangling to his still slightly tanned skin.

“I really didn’t know you were such a stalker.”

“Look who’s talking. Who stalked my Twitter and Instagram? And probably my Weibo, too!”

“That was research.”

“Well, I was just researching too.”

Kame laughs and draws closer. Maybe that’s him admitting that Jin has a point there, maybe it’s just not important enough anymore. He tries to come up with something else to say, but his mind goes blank when Kame reaches out to stroke over his sides. His eyes are dark, his lips parted, the lights from outside so bright they illuminate his skin and reflect in those necklaces. 

Jin tries hard not to stare too much. Whatever is happening here makes no sense to him and he can’t figure out _why_. Or what exactly is going to happen in the first place.

“Don’t think,” Kame breathes before his lips close over Jin’s. 

A silent moan escapes from Jin’s mouth, his eyes fluttering shut. Kame’s lips are soft and taste like beer and yakitori. They move slowly against Jin’s when Kame wraps an arm around his neck burying his finger in Jin’s soft locks. 

Jin feels him wrapping one of the strands around his finger. It’s distracting when there really shouldn’t be anything distracting him as Kame’s tongue flicks over Jin’s lips. He opens his mouth, savoring the sensation when their tongues meet. The kiss is still slow and tender, even when Kame’s other hand curls around Jin’s hip to draw him closer pressing their bodies together. 

They get more urgent after that. Jin moans when he feels Kame’s erection against his thigh. Kame’s hand moves along the waistband of Jin’s jeans to palm him through them. Now Jin regrets picking the tight ones. 

It sends shivers through his body when Kame is touching him like that and his hips move almost automatically against the hand rubbing his crotch. It’s new and exciting and it’s been so long. Kame’s hand goes tighter in Jin’s hair and he turns them around so. Jin complains as he breaks the kiss and the hands vanish from his body along with that. They’re back a second later though, tugging at his sweater, moving under it and across his bare chest. Kame’s breath is fast and urgent, his eyes clouded with lust and desire. Jin helps him remove the garment quickly which makes Kame chuckle. But his lips are back on Jin’s soon after, the dark sweater discarded on the cream white floor. 

Kame pushes him towards the bed until it hits Jin’s calves. He almost topples over, but Kame’s hand is back around his waist holding him steady and close. So close. Kame slowly drags his teeth over Jin’s lips, his fingers working their way to the buttons of Jin’s jeans. 

_Finally_ , Jin thinks drawing in a sharp breath when his bare erection rubs against Kame’s naked belly. His legs are wobbly when he steps out of the jeans and it doesn’t take Kame much force to send Jin down onto the bed. 

With a very quick and efficient move Kame pulls down his own jeans and underpants. Jin already expected him to just crawl over him, but he stays next to the bad staring at Jin and drawing in a sharp breath obviously pleased with what he sees. It buys Jin time to sit up and lay his hand on Kame’s hip. There are red marks on the soft skin of Kame’s belly and around his thighs. The small pattern of the elastic engraved into it. Jin strokes along the line with his fingers enjoying the needy moans he draws out of Kame’s mouth with that. For a guy touching himself there on a regular base, he shouldn’t be so sensitive. 

Kame leans into the touch throwing his head back when Jin’s other hand makes its way to his ass while he keeps stroking over the reddened skin. He even groans when Jin stops briefly only to replace the hand with tender kisses along Kame’s hip bones. They’re not as sharp as Jin remembers them. Kame’s hand is back in his hair stroking his scalp lightly. This time, Jin won’t let it distract him too much. 

When Jin moves down along Kame’s thighs, he can feel Kame getting impatient. Whatever Jin is doing here probably wasn’t part of his plan and he should know that Jin likes to tease him. Just a little bit. At least as long as he himself and his throbbing erection can take it. Which might not be long, not with Kame moaning and breathing his name as Jin tries a tentative lick over the tip of Kame’s hard cock. He loves the sounds he can draw out of Kame with that. 

The hand in his hair starts grabbing it tighter, urging him on. Jin would love to tease Kame some more, but he’s slowly getting impatient too. So he starts circling the tip of Kame’s cock with his tongue, tickles the underside of it before he moves on to suck on his balls. Kame shivers beneath Jin’s mouth and Jin can tell it takes him a lot of effort not to shove his cock into Jin’s mouth right away. It makes Jin grin a little against the sensitive flesh before he brings his lips over the head. He slides the head along the roof of his mouth as he takes all of Kame in. 

“Jin,” Kame breathes getting even harder when Jin starts bobbing his head. 

Jin looks up at him from between his dark bangs. He can taste pre-come on his tongue and that’s when Kame pulls out, pushes Jin back onto the mattress before he climbs on top of him legs on either side. Kame’s saliva covered erection is warm and wet against Jin’s. 

Jin moans when their lips touch again, Kame’s body pressed into his. Kame is thrusting against him, one hand back in Jin’s hair, the other one reaching out into the bedside drawer. Jin strokes Kame’s back while Kame drags his teeth over his lips. Something snaps open and a moment later a cold hand creeps under his ass, finger sliding in between his buttocks. He groans as Kame teasingly rubs a finger over his entrance and tries to bite Kame’s lips in return. He can feel the smirk against his mouth. Dumbass.

“Kame,” Jin all but _whines_.

It makes Kame laugh and finally _finally_ he slides one slick and cold finger into Jin. He shivers a little, squirming under Kame’s touch. Kame moves his lips along Jin’s jaw line before he sucks on a spot below his ear starting to move his finger. A second one joins it soon after and Jin can feel how Kame’s getting more impatient by the minute. Not that Jin is any better. And it doesn’t take long until Kame’s fingers are gone. Jin bends his knees almost automatically while Kame rolls over a condom coating it with lube again. 

“Needy?” He looks amused and it’s not like _he_ is less urgent than Jin is here. Not at all. 

“Shut up and hurry…”

Kame giggles and Jin would strangle him if a second later Kame wasn’t back in position again slowly sliding into him. Jin watches as he throws back his head, his fingers digging into Jin’s hipbone. Small beads of sweat glisten on Kame’s face, needy moans escaping his lips. For Jin, it’s the best thing he’s ever seen. 

He can feel Kame everywhere, in him, all around him, for a moment he almost forgets to breathe. It’s been way too long. Kame starts moving, slowly first, testing Jin and how comfortable he is already. Jin moves his hips with Kame, speeding it up once he’s over that little bit of pain after the first stretch. What’s left is pure pleasure. 

Kame pushes into him hitting spots that make Jin almost see stars. He bends his back as he writhes and moans underneath Kame. Kame bends down to engage him in a fierce kiss taking the last bit of breath Jin had still left all away. Jin moans louder when he feels a slick hand wrapping around his erection picking up speed after slow teasing strokes. Kame’s other hand moves into Jin’s hair pulling at the dark locks while his tongue ravishes Jin’s mouth. 

“God…,” Kame moans against his lips. 

His thrusts get harder and deeper more urgent than before as Jin can feel every muscle in Kame’s body clench before he stills and comes with Jin’s name on his lips. 

Kame sinks back against Jin, covering his whole body with his breath- and boneless body, sweaty forehead burying into Jin’s shoulder. His breath tickles Jin’s collarbone. It makes Jin whimper and fear that the evil teasing bastard Kame is will just take advantage of that. But he doesn’t. Instead he pulls out to lie down next to Jin body pressing his body against his side. His mouth comes down on Jin’s chest, tongue circling across the sweaty skin. He flicks it over one of Jin’s nipples when his hand around Jin’s cock tightens again. Kame’s strokes are strong and very efficient. Jin bucks up into the touch enjoying every bit of it, especially when Kame just finds the right way to bring Jin over the edge. 

Jin watches him smear the sticky mess on his hand to the sheets before Kame comes up again to kiss Jin tenderly. There’s a smile on his face and a gleaming in his eyes Jin has never seen before. All about Kame is warm and soft and perfect at this very moment. 

He wants to pout when Kame gets up to get a wet towel to clean them, but he doesn’t. Kame doesn’t take long anyway and soon he’s back along Jin’s side tucking them both under the warm blanket. Jin would’ve never believed they fit together well this way too. Kame presses a soft kiss to Jin’s shoulder when his arm comes around Jin’s chest. 

“Did you fall asleep?” he whispers amusement just too evident in his voice. 

Jin pokes his arm lazily. His brain is all fuzzy and Kame isn’t even trying to make that better. Not at all. 

“That was amazing…,” he says eventually when he’s ready to open his eyes and think straight again. More or less.

“Yeah…,” Kame says and pops his head up on his elbow. 

“Unexpected though.” 

And Jin doesn’t even have a clue what exactly that was. It’s not like he cares. Not at the moment.

“Well… it helps that I’m pitching for whichever team.” 

“God, you’re awful,” Jin groans and rolls around turning his back to Kame. 

“It’s just the truth.” 

Kame laughs darkly as he robs closer again, pressing his chest to Jin’s back and somehow managing to put his leg between Jin’s. The hand that was on Jin’s chest moves up into his hair again playing with the sweaty strands, running his fingers through them, fingernails moving softy along his scalp every now and then.

Outside, the illumination of Osaka Bay is switched off and Jin can see the sky coloring in soft orange light. He shuffles even closer to Kame before he falls asleep to the stroking hand in his hair and the first sunrise of a new year.

### Spring

Jin is very busy with his movie and a new single early that year. He even doesn’t get around to writing Kame much. They didn’t have much time on New Year’s either. KAT-TUN were scheduled to flight back later on the same day and they were so tired that they slept until it was almost time to check out. There was still time for hand jobs and heated kisses under the shower and Kame blow drying Jin’s hair, though. His stomach still does pleasant flips when he thinks about it. 

Kame invited the members over for dinner on his birthday. He’d hoped Jin would be able to come over too, but he had to cancel last minute. It was great nevertheless, even when Junno established a no-talk-about-work rule and pestered him with more questions about Jin and what was going on. Kame didn’t even have answers to half of the questions. 

He watches Ueda shadow-boxing in a corner of the studio dressed in adidas sweatpants and a tight white tank top. It’s their final rehearsal of the dance moves for the next PV. Junno and Maru are stuck somewhere on the way, because of some accident that’s blocking the road. 

Something cool is pressed to Kame’s face and makes him jump. Ueda grins at him, face sweaty as he throws the bottle of water at Kame. 

“Cheer up. Being closer to 30 isn’t that bad, you know?”

Kame laughs as he uncaps the bottle and takes a large sip.

“That’s not it.”

“Thought so.” 

Ueda flops down next to him on the floor and peels off the label of his Pocari Sweat bottle. 

“Akanishi?”

“A bit,” he says taking another sip from his much too cold water. 

Ueda raises an eyebrow at him.

“We just… left off without really knowing where we stand? How things are going to be now and he’s busy.”

Now Ueda rolls his eyes and leans back against one of the huge mirrors.

“You don’t think he’s avoiding you, do you? Because that’s dumb, Kame. And ridiculous and you know that. He’s busy the way you’re always busy and whatever there is to discuss, if it’s important and has to wait, then be it so.”

“Yeah, you might be right.”

“No, I’m very sure I am right. You know this isn’t really any of my business and you know I don’t like to meddle, but don’t let it affect whatever you do too much. Once his schedule is fine, you’ll discuss whatever you still have to discuss, even though things look pretty clear from here.”

“I just realized that I missed him, that’s all.”

They haven’t even seen each other a lot for the past year, but still. 

“It’s been a while since you went all clingy boyfriend on someone.”

“I’m not _clingy_.”

Ueda rolls his eyes, but he laughs patting Kame’s shoulders. 

“But I think it’s good for you, too to have someone like that again. Whether it’s Akanishi or whoever. And once your stupid brain realizes that he’s not going anywhere, you’ll stop being ridiculous, too. I think we’re on a good way as a group too, by the way. It’s nice how things are going. And that you’re telling us stuff again.”

Now Kame laughs and pokes Ueda’s stomach. It’s hard as a rock and if you look closely you can see the outlines of his muscles on the tight top. 

“It does feel better the way it is now, that’s true.”

“See, and now stop being all mopey and depressed and become our work-obsessed bitch again.”

Ueda gets up quickly barely escaping the kick Kame aimed at his shin. Kame chases him through the room to get his revenge, but fails miserably. They didn’t have that much fun at rehearsals in forever. 

*x*x*x*x*

In early April, Jin sends Kame a cryptic message that Kame should do everything to keep the 13th free. There’s nothing more, do details, no reasons, no personal message. It makes Kame’s stomach flutter with excitement. So much that he doesn’t even care when his manager is less than pleased with his request. He gets the day off anyway. 

Jin is 10 minutes early, a huge pink gift bag in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. He almost drops both of the items when Kame closes the door behind him and walks him into the next wall kissing him senseless. 

“Hey,” he whispers barely breaking the kiss.

“Hey. Missed you.”

Kame just nods, letting go of Jin so he can take off his shoes and his coat. He looks good, his hair has grown so much these last months that it almost touches his shoulders now. It’s not curly anymore, but still as soft as Kame remembers. 

He made them yakisoba they eat from bowls on the couch. They’re sitting close together, legs tangled, Jin pressing his cold feet to Kame’s Prada-clad calves every now and then. Jin tells him everything about the movie, the staff and the action scenes. How brave he was during the stunt on that skyscraper and didn’t chicken out when he had the chance to. How awesome it was and how very exhausting. How much it sucked that he hardly went home in the evenings and couldn’t see Kame much. 

“That’s just how things are,” Kame says. 

His mom always said it was better to get used to the bad times when things change right from the start. That way it’s easier to appreciate the good times. Jin makes a face, but he nods. 

“It’s cool to be working that much again.”

“That’s rare coming from you.”

“Hey, I _love_ my work!”

“You also love to sleep and relax.”

“I love to sleep and relax with _you_.”

Kame can feel the blush on his cheeks which Jin seems to find incredibly amusing. 

“Don’t say this comes as a surprise.”

Now Jin smirks and Kame resists the urge to hide his face in a cushion. 

“It was just… unexpected.”

“Oh Kame.” 

Jin doesn’t say more, just stuffs his mouth with the yakisoba handing the empty bowl to Kame.

“More?”

Kame pokes his side, but gets up nevertheless filling Jin’s bowl with the yakisoba and taking two bottles of beer with him. They decided to save the wine for later and that yakisoba go way better with beer anyway. Kame tells Jin about what he’s been up to recently and the emotional interview he had with the Fukuoka Softbank Hawks’ pitcher who was forced to retire at the age of 23 due to an injury on his spine. Jin’s eyes are glassy when Kame finishes and he sets his empty bowl aside to wrap his arms around Jin stroking his hair and pressing soft kisses to his temple. Jin pretends it doesn’t affect him that much and feeds Kame the rest of his noodles to cover up for the uneasiness he suddenly feels. 

Jin puts a ban on anything that has to do with washing dishes or cleaning the kitchen and when he takes the gift bag and goes into Kame’s bedroom, Kame doesn’t object. He doesn’t either when Jin closes the curtains and tells him to lie down on his bed with the smooth green cotton sheets. When Kame closes his eyes he hears Jin shuffling around, removing paper from something, putting something on the nightstand. A minute later there’s light in the bedroom. Probably orange or red. The mattress dips as Jin lies down next to him his fingertips dancing softly along Kame’s arm. 

“Open your eyes.”

It’s beautiful. The white ceiling is covered in different shades of red, the orb is clearly visible against the black surroundings. A few minutes later, Jin presses a button on a remote control Kame has never seen before. The scenery changes to a closer shot of Mars’ sandy surface bright red right in front of Kame. 

“That’s awesome.”

Kame hasn’t even realized he’s been holding his breath. 

Jin laughs silently as he presses a kiss to Kame’s hair. 

“Exactly one year ago we met at the Bruno Mars concert,” he says still staring at the ceiling. 

That comes as a surprise to Kame. He hadn’t thought about it, hadn’t remember exactly when that was just that it had happened. He laughs guiltily and searches for Jin’s hand to entwine their fingers. 

“It made me happy, you know. That we talked.” 

Even though their conversation was short and it felt awkward. Afterwards Kame had more questions than answers. 

“And I realized how much I actually missed you. All of you. But mainly you. Maybe I already fell in love with you back then.”

Kame’s heart skips a beat as Jin’s face turns all soft and dreamy. He doesn’t know what to say, so he moves up to kiss Jin tenderly and presses against him. It feels secure and like home when Jin wraps his arms around him.

*x*x*x*x*

Jin rests his head on Kame’s naked chest and almost purrs when Kame’s hand is in his hair again, his fingers sliding through the long strands. Their skin shines red from the projector, sweat glistening in the lights. The air smells like sex and Jin. Kame could stay like this forever. 

“It made me kind of happy back then. And somehow… it helped that you talked to me. That you told me.”

He feels Jin nod, soft hair tickling his collarbone. 

“So, I’m glad you did. I doubt I’d have talked to you at Daishi’s party at all if we hadn’t met again before.”

“I don’t think I would’ve told you then. It’s been too long after I left.”

Jin’s voice sounds sleepy, but his fingers are still roaming along Kame’s stomach tracing the muscles that are back from all the baseball practice he’s done recently. 

“What you said about taking risks and all was helpful too. To realize. That I love you too.”

“Yeah, I’m smart like that.”

“Well, you have your moments.”

Kame giggles when Jin tickles his sides before he places lazy kisses on Kame’s chest. 

“I have lots of good moments and brilliant ideas,” Jin mumbles between kisses.

“Occasionally.” 

There’s an evil glint in Jin’s eyes as he covers Kame’s body with his. Kame raises an eyebrow, but before he can do or say anything, Jin moves downwards vanishing under the covers. Kame might be ready to admit that on some days Jin’s ideas are especially brilliant even.

 

*x*x*x*x*

Kame watches Theia decorate her sandcastle with shells they collected that morning after breakfast. She frowns whenever she accidentally destroys one of the towers, but always rebuilds them with great patience. That, she definitely got from her mother. By now Kame wonders whether she destroys them on purpose just to rebuild them. He helped her earlier, but after a while she got pretty adamant about wanting to build her fortress all alone. 

Jin decided to take a nap in the hammock next to the white porch Kame is standing on. They rented the small house on a private beach in Zushi for the weekend. The last one they’ll have off before KAT-TUN’s summer tour and the promotion for Jin’s movie starts. It’s been sunny all day and Theia had great fun earlier splashing around in the sea with them. 

Kame checks his watch before he walks down to the hammock Jin is dozing in. The sand is warm under his feet; his eyes never leave the place where Theia is still busy with her construction work. He kneels down into the sand putting a hand on Jin’s cheek.

“Time to wake up.”

Jin stirs, shifting a little under his touch. He always looks adorable when he just wakes up from his naps. Kame can’t help it but smile gently at him. 

There’s an obligatory grumble before Jin wraps his arms around Kame’s neck. He picks some purple flower petals that have miraculously landed on Kame’s head out of his hair. 

“Am totally awake…,” he yawns and they both start laughing. 

Eventually Jin gets up to take a bath with Theia while Kame prepares something for their barbeque. They invited the others for dinner. Ueda, Nakamaru and Taguchi. Meisa tries to come too, if filming doesn’t run late again. It’s easier now that they all know. Easier when there’s less people to hide from.

Jin comes back from the bathroom in boxers and a black t-shirt, hair wet and disheveled.

“She wants to pick out her clothes _alone_. I’m not even supposed to support her with decisions whether her green jeans and the purple sweater match anymore.”

There’s a pained look on his face and Kame has to bite back a giggle. 

“I always wonder where she got that pighead from.”

“Dumbass.”

Kame laughs as he puts the plate with the raw meat back into the fridge. He goes back to the counter to cut vegetables when Jin’s arms slide around his waist, nose digging into Kame’s shoulder.

“When will the others come?”

“In about 2 hours. Maybe 3. So we still have plenty of time.” 

Jin hums his agreement, pressing his body closer to Kame’s, burying his nose in his hair this time.

“Is this how it’s going to be from now on?”

Kame pauses a little a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“I don’t think it’s going to be this calm and relaxed forever.”

“It’s going to be complicated.”

“We’ll deal, Jin. Whatever it is.”

“We’ll fight.”

“And make up again.”

“Even when things are getting very very complicated?”

“They won’t be complicated unless we _make_ them complicated.”

“Sometimes, your way of thinking isn’t so bad. It’s been a long way to get you there though.” 

“What can I say, I’m a quick learner whose way of thinking is always great.”

Jin laughs softly as he presses a kiss to Kame’s hairline.

“I think most of all this is going to be perfect.”


End file.
